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35 very L.A. new year’s resolutions (No. 1: Stop texting omw when you’re not)

Illustration of a woman laying out at the beach
(Luke McConkey / For The Times)
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Is it just me or has the whole new year’s resolution thing gotten a little stale? I mean, let’s be honest: Who doesn’t want to eliminate their credit card debt, stop smoking and learn to play the accordion by 365 days from now? (Accomplish that trifecta and you’ll be the New Year’s Eve party guest everyone loves to hate.) How about this: Instead of aiming — and if you’re like me, failing miserably — at being an all-around better person, resolve simply to become a better Angeleno?

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Maybe if we spend next year fixing our foibles as they relate to this mighty city we call home (first resolution: Stop calling it “La La Land”), we’ll have the wind at our collective backs and a spring in our step (second resolution: Explore L.A. on foot — see how easy this is?) to tackle some of those bigger betterment goals in 2024 and beyond.

Therefore, if you’re ready to start your journey toward being a better Angeleno, here are several suggestions to prime the pump and set you on the path.

  1. Stop texting “On my way” when you’re already late and haven’t even left the house yet.
  2. Save water by showering with a friend. (After all, we’re in a megadrought!)
  3. Actually make it to the beach this year. (The actual sand part with toes in the water and everything. Just looking at it from Pacific Coast Highway as you drive by doesn’t count.)
  4. Stop being the third car to turn left on a yellow light.
  5. Stop calling it “Cali.” (See also “La La Land” above.)
  6. When invited to a house in the Hollywood Hills, stop checking the home value on Zillow before deciding to RSVP.
  7. Go someplace in Los Angeles that truly frightens you. (If that doesn’t sound challenging enough, try doing it high.)
  8. Learn your neighbors’ names — not just their dogs’ names.
  9. Convince a local business to hang your headshot on the wall. (Note: This resolution only works if undertaken ironically. If you’re already a celebrity, convince them to take your photo off the wall.)
  10. Stop blaming things on the traffic.
  11. Stop blaming things on the weather.
  12. Stop blaming things on the “homeless problem.” Do something to help instead.
  13. Stop rescheduling lunch.
  14. Become a master of L.A. arcana. (Why is it called a SigAlert? Who was Griffith J. Griffith? What is the city’s full name?)
  15. Visit 101-year-old local landmark Watts Tower.
  16. Walk the entire length of Wilshire Boulevard from downtown L.A. to the beach. (Yes, it’s 15.8 miles, but you’ve also got 12 months.)
  17. Stop saying “We should totally hang out” when you don’t really want to hang out at all.
  18. Check the top 10 best places to visit in California off your list. (Then start working your way through the rest of the 101 list.)
  19. Learn the name — and boundaries — of your neighborhood. (We’ll make this one easy for you.)
  20. Learn something about your second assistant. (As in something beyond a first name — though that’s a good start.)
  21. Tear out your lawn. Save California.
  22. Stop taking up two parking spaces with one car.
  23. Stop texting or unwrapping a protein bar or applying eyeliner while driving. (You know who you are.)
  24. Stop acting surprised that there’s traffic on the 405 Freeway.
  25. Eat at all 14 of the 2022 Hall of Fame inductee eateries on the L.A. Times 101 Best Restaurant List.
  26. Make one of L.A.’s social equity dispensaries your go-to place to buy cannabis. (Here’s a list of 11 to get you started.)
  27. Finally try public transit. (And yes, L.A. has a subway.)
  28. Hike more. Doomscroll less.
  29. Volunteer. (Not just during the holidays either.)
  30. Once a week, do something social that’s not just drinking (like haunting karaoke spots or brushing up on your pub trivia skills).
  31. Stop leaving Crypto.com Arena before the final buzzer.
  32. Stop referring to Crypto.com Arena as “the old Staples Center.”
  33. Every time someone mentions the Beverly Center, stop saying, “I used to get pony rides there.”
  34. Actually learn the names of the actors who play your favorite TV characters.
  35. Learn the local weather lingo. Start with June gloom, Santa Ana winds, coastal eddy, El Niño and La Niña.

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