Compiled by Denise Martin, Special to the Times, and Stephanie Lysaght, Times Staff Writer
David Letterman, on ‘Late Show with David Letterman,’ Oct. 8
“Did you watch the debate last night? I gave up drinking a while ago, but I started again, and I’m watching the debate last night, and I did a shot every time John McCain said, ‘my friends,’ and so I am just blotto.” (John P. Filo / Associated Press)
Jay Leno, on ‘The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,’ Oct. 8
“Boy, that was dull, wasn’t it? Oh, my God. I guess this time they went with the town hall format. They use that because they say it demonstrates the next president’s ability to think and talk at the same time, or as President Bush calls that, ‘showing off.’ (Lee Celano / Associated Press)
Conan O’Brien, on ‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien,’ Oct. 8
Larry Flynt announced hes making a porn movie with a Sarah Palin look-alike. John McCain called the idea offensive. Barack Obama called it inappropriate. Bill Clinton said hell reserve judgment until he sees the film. (Scott Wintrow / Getty Images)
Seth Meyers, on Thursday night’s ‘SNL’ special, Oct. 9
“As stocks dropped sharply Monday, President Bush urged patience with the government’s new $700-billion plan, saying it’s going to take a while. The good news is, he’s never been right.” (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)
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Craig Ferguson, on ‘Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,’ Oct. 9
“At a concert last week [ Madonna] said she was going to kick Sarah Palins ass. Im thinking Id quite like to see that. Thats going to be a sexy little underpants pillow fight. Like Madonna tries to poke out the eyes with her pointy cone bra and Palin’s well-protected with the naughty librarian glasses. Get out of my dreams and into my shiny-floored studio. But Madonna and Sarah Palin are very different, of course. One is a dangerously insane celebrity who has no business discussing politics and the other one is Madonna, so right there...” (Ric Francis / Associated Press)
Michelle Obama and Jon Stewart, on ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,’ Oct. 8
Michelle Obama (asked about reading negative press): “You know Ive stopped reading and watching a lot of stuff --” Jon Stewart: “-- so youre a lot like Sarah Palin.” (Evan Agostini / Associated Press)