How to prepare for the coming ‘blood moon’ apocalypse

Stayed up well past my bedtime Monday night to catch the “blood moon.” Wish I would’ve known that it was a sign of the apocalypse — I might have lingered a little longer.

What’s that? You didn’t know either? That’s OK — that’s why God (or Al Gore) invented the Internet.

Sarah Pulliam Bailey has the particulars over at Religion News Service in her story, “ ‘Blood moon’ sets off apocalyptic debate among some Christians.”

Full disclosure: I mostly skipped Sunday school. In fact, my Methodist upbringing was skimpy, as in, well, OK, nonexistent. So I’m not up on the Rapture and the like. Which is what makes me grateful for folks like Bailey, who can bring me up to date on how my life is about to end. (I’m fatalistic, and practical: I figure I’m not leaving this Earth with the good people; instead, I’ll be stuck here with all my friends.)

Anyway, as Bailey explains:

“There are about two lunar eclipses per year, according to NASA, but what’s unusual this time around is that there will be four blood moons within 18 months — astronomers call that a tetrad — and all of them occur during Jewish holidays.”

Or, as the guys in “Ghostbusters” might say: “A tetrad: that would be bad.”

As outlined (prophesied?) in his book, “Four Blood Moons: Something Is About to Change,” megachurch pastor John Hagee of Texas claims that “every time a tetrad occurs on Jewish feast days, something traumatic and ‘world-changing’ happens to Israel,” Bailey writes.

Want examples, oh skeptical ones? Read on:

“In 1492, the Jews were expelled from Spain and Christopher Columbus discovered America, giving the Jews a place to go. In 1948, the modern state of Israel was born, and in 1967, Israel won the Six-Day War and recaptured Jerusalem.”

But wait, there’s more:

“This time, Hagee suggests that a Rapture will occur where Christians will be taken to heaven, Israel will go to war in a great battle called Armageddon, and Jesus will return to Earth.”

Wow. All that, just from one orange moon — which, frankly, if you live in L.A., isn’t that rare, given the nasty smog here and all.

Now, sure, I know what you are thinking: I have heard all this before.

But Hagee could be right: After all, the world will end someday; predict it often enough and, like the lottery, someone’s gotta hit it.

So just in case, here’s what you should do: Go home tonight and kiss your spouse, passionately — even if you had pizza for lunch. Hug the kids — even though they can’t be bothered to look up from their phones. Pet the dog and/or cat — even if the former slobbers all over you and the latter bites your hand. Don’t watch “Game of Thrones” again — even if you are so happy that Joffrey finally got his, the little weasel.

Take the advice of the ancient poet: Carpe diem: seize the day (or your spouse, if you’re feeling frisky).

Because blood moon tetrad or not, life is short.

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