Op-Ed: A list of words that trigger Post Traumatic Election Stress Disorder

Journalists haven’t yet finished their autopsy on the 2016 election, but they’re already handicapping 2018 and 2020 — who will run? Who will win? It’s enough to make you understand why millennials want “trigger warnings.” To defend America from Post Traumatic Election Stress Disorder, let’s call a moratorium on the following words and phrases:

Surrogate; ground game; pivot; on-message; off-script; prompter; campaign trail; smear campaign; leaning; trending; tracking; tightening; surging; after much soul-searching; running mate; mainstream; momentum; uptick; Upshot; 538; convention; committed delegates; trump (as a verb); swing (as an adjective); vote (as a noun); Rubio; Baio; keynote; the stamina it takes; low energy; rousing; on point; bullet point; in the/on deep/background; respondent; despondent; clear choice; wow; this makes “Sophie’s Choice” look like a no-brainer; spin doctor/room/city; out of the loop; in the conversation; frank discussion; Dodd-Frank; Frank Luntz; focus group; laser-like focus; end game; red/blue/purple/catatonic/state; battleground; war room; DNC; RNC; KKK; CNN; back to you, Rachel; party unity; partisan rancor; internal bickering; external pressure; firewall; scorched earth; coal; appeal to the/rally the/liberal/conservative/way off/free/base; left; right; partisan; populist; PAC; super PAC; corporate money/donor/malfeasance; dug in; counted out; endorsed by; press corps; core values; limited access to; Access Hollywood; Hollywood elite; political hacks; Goldman Sachs; Florida; evangelicals; better angels; free/paid/figure of/speech; messaging; free advertising; advertising budget; population/tectonic/night shift; jobs; deficits; immigrants; national debt; debt of gratitude; billionaire; socialist; loyalist; centrist; no rocket scientist; global warming; Twitter; Facebook; Instagram; Snapchat; social media/issue/welfare/smoker; margin of error/victory; down ballot; ballot box; tax/early/returns; stay positive; go negative; appeasing; nasty; terrific; disaster; fired up; intellectually/physically/temperamentally unfit; morally/financially/proudly/bankrupt; final push; race/gender/is this your/card; pull the lever; push his buttons; pulse of the nation; coattails; pants on fire; pant/law/civil/ill-fitting/suit; huckster; conman; common man, undecided voter; voter apathy/turnout/fatigue/fraud/ID; polarized; disaffected; coalition; caucus; Caucasian; alt right; Carol Alt; Islamo-/homo-/claustro-/phobia; solidarity; college-educated; some/no/electoral college; special interests; elitist; rural; Wisconsin; urban; Keith Urban; Urban Meyer; suburban women; Pennsylvania; working class men; Ohio; rust/Bible/faux leather/Belt; Michigan; outer precincts; inner workings; issues-oriented; disoriented; divisive; dispiriting; just wake me up when it’s over; together; with her; great; inclusive; rigged; crooked; corrupt; server; email; deplorable; when they go low; lock her up; build that wall; don’t boo; October surprise; November; inside straight; narrow path; improbable; still possible; done the impossible; the people have spoken; stunned silence; blame to go around; nuclear codes; our sons and daughters; the American people; president.

Peter Mehlman is a comedian and former writer on “Seinfeld.”

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