Embarrassing mnemonics

A friend of mine has a problem. She has invented some very corny but potentially very effective mnemonic devices for remembering certain language rules. This friend of mine would like to share these devices with people who might benefit from them, but she’s worried how people might react. As I said, these mnemonics are pretty corny. People might laugh. People might groan. People might roll their eyes and wonder why they ever thought my friend was worth listening to in the first place.

So, to save my friend this kind of embarrassment, I decided to pass along these rules for her, omitting her name, of course.

The first mnemonic has to do with the subjunctive. It’s designed to help people remember to use “were” after “I wish” in sentences such as, “I wish I were brave enough to admit whose mnemonics these are.”

And here is the corny mnemonic device my friend invented: “If I were you, I wouldn’t ‘were-ry.’” See how turning “worry” into “were-ry” can help you remember to use “were” after “I wish”? See how clever my friend is? And how helpful? She really is a great person. I wish you could meet her.

I’ve discussed the subjunctive mood a number of times in this column. It’s called a mood because it’s not quite a verb tense, but almost.

The subjunctive is the reason you say, “I knew I was going to hide my identity,” but, “I wish I were brave enough to come forward.”

As I’ve written before, this “mood” comes into play when dealing with “conditions contrary to fact.” When you state a wish, you’re talking about something that’s not real. When you speculate about possibilities by starting a sentence with “if,” again you’re talking about something not factual but hypothetical.

Not all “ifs” deal with conditions contrary to fact. Some deal with real possibilities. “If a reader was clever enough, she might have figured out who my friend is.” It’s quite possible that this reader could be so clever. We can only pray she’s not. But, “If a reader were sitting in my room right now, she might see me blushing,” is fantasy, not fact. That’s why it’s in the subjunctive mood and that’s why it takes “were” instead of was.

Now, if you were me, would you “were-ry”?

The second mnemonic my friend invented is designed to clarify the difference between “may” and “might.”

According to the “Chicago Manual of Style” you’re supposed to use “may” for potentially true statements, “I may be lying,” and “might” for hypothetical and (like the subjunctive) “contrary to fact” statements. “I might have told the truth if I’d had the courage.”

Here’s my friend’s oh-so-clever mnemonic: “Might-o-thetical.” It means, obviously, that when choosing between “may” and “might,” choose the latter for statements dealing with the hypothetical.

The last mnemonic my friend has devised should help you remember conjugations of “to lay” and “to lie.”

As you may recall from my repeated columns on the subject, “to lie” is something I do to myself; “to lay” is something I do to something or someone else. (If that sounds indecent to you, you’re already on your way to remembering this one.)

The past tense of “to lie” is very confusing, because it’s “lay.” Today I lie; yesterday I lay. The past participle of “lie” is “lain.” “At times, I have lain.”

For “to lay,” both the past tense and the past participle are “laid.” Today I lay the book on the table; yesterday I laid the book on the table; in the past I have laid the book on the table.

So how do you keep all these straight? Friend’s mnemonic to the rescue: “To lay” gets “laid” and “laid.”

And that’s all she has to say about that.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE is a freelance writer. She can be reached at JuneTCN@aol.com.

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