A WORD, PLEASE: When to question punctuation

I’ve been taking the train lately. It’s just three quarters of a mile from my house and arrives just a half mile from my destination.

My route requires me to buy just four passes a day for a total of $5 — only 40% more than the gallon of gas I would otherwise use — and it gets me to my destination just 15 minutes later than I could get there by car.

For all these reasons and more, I can’t imagine why I would hop in my air-conditioned, practically new car and miss out on all the foot-blistering, deodorant-testing, please-don’t-talk-to-me-you- smell-like-Lindsay-Lohan-on- Sunday-morning fun. (Note to self: sue Al Gore for mental damages.)

Many people read on the train. Or at least they hold up a book or newspaper while they eavesdrop on a stranger’s cellphone conversation. I can’t. If a single printed word passes in front of my eyes I’ll be in no position to criticize the Lindsay Lohan-smelling guy.

Instead, I think. And one of the topics I think about is punctuation. Specifically, I worry that I’ll come across a sentence I don’t know how to punctuate. (Laugh if you must, but it helps blot out the Justin Timberlake song blaring out of earbuds of the iPod next to me.)

For example, most of us know how to use a period to form a sentence. Most of us know how to use a question mark to form a question. But put one inside the other and a lot of us get scared.

Say you’re writing a novel about a superhero whose superpower is that she rides the train and survives. You might have occasion to put a question such as, “What did this guy have for lunch?” within a larger sentence that ends with, “Metrorella wondered.” Where would the question mark go? Would there be one at all?

Question marks are usually thought of as “terminal punctuation” — “terminal” meaning sentence-ending (or the place where a train takes you, or many of the things you can catch if you touch the handrail). Therefore, a lot of people think it can’t go in the middle of a sentence.

Not so. “A question mark is used within a sentence at the end of a direct question,” according to the “Chicago Manual of Style,” the go-to authority for most editors in the book-publishing world.

“What did this guy have for lunch? Metrorella wondered.”

The no-question-mark option is also valid: “What did this guy have for lunch, Metrorella wondered.” But it’s good to have both options. Notice that a comma now appears in place of the question mark.

“Chicago” also points out: “If the question does not begin the sentence, it need not start with a capital letter.”

Their example: “The question, how can the two be reconciled? was on everyone’s mind.”

Notice also that there’s no need to put the question part in quotation marks. This is often a judgment call, but in general there’s no need to use quotation marks unless you’re quoting someone or something.

Though I make it a point never to get too peeved about grammar and style (anyone who thinks punctuation is worth getting irked about needs to spend 30 minutes on the Gold Line to Union Station), one punctuation misuse does get under my skin: I don’t like it when people punctuate statements as questions.

“Guess what” is not a question. It’s a command. “Can you guess what?” — Now that’s a question.

“I wanted to know if this rash was serious” is not a question.

“I want to know: Is this rash serious?” — That’s a question. One that requires immediate attention. So I’m off to see the doctor, then my lawyer. I think I’ll drive.