REEL CRITIC: ‘Semi-Pro’ sinks a two-pointer

If you’re tired of watching boring real-life NBA games, lace up your sneakers and buy a ticket for “Semi-Pro.” It’s a minor league comedy with major league talent and a must see for basketball fans and people who love Will Ferrell. It won’t end up in the Hall of Fame, but it does provide enough laughs to cover Matt’s entertainment spread.

Jackie Moon (Ferrell) is the owner, promoter and flashy-dressing veteran player of the American Basketball Assn.’s Flint Tropics. After the 1976 season, the ABA is going to merge with the NBA, but only four teams from the struggling league will make the transition. If Moon can guide the Tropics to a fourth-place finish while averaging 2,000 fans at home games, his team will be included in the merger. What crazy stunts will Jackie do to increase attendance?

Can Ferrell create a triple double of comedy with action, laughs and suspense? Just like a real game, you have to stick around for the final whistle to find out the score.

“Semi-Pro” put up an air ball at the box office during its opening weekend, and somebody at New Line Cinema will probably lose his or her job because of this. The reason the film was shut out on the financial scoreboard is because it’s rated R, and parents kept their children away. The young dad in front of me buying tickets refused to let his two boys attend our screening. The rowdy kids caused quite a ruckus and yelled, “Mom would let us see it!” The overwhelmed dad quickly hustled them out of the line.

So how dirty is the material to get the R rating? In my opinion, not dirty enough. It’s a period piece set in the 1970s, and there is some rough language and sexual innuendo but no nudity or bloodshed.

Guess what? Basketball players swear and like beautiful women. As a matter of fact, so do I. Maybe I’m immune because I’ve been around athletes my entire life, but “Semi-Pro” is fine for teenagers, and the movie should have a long career on DVD and cable.

The producers did follow my No. 1 rule of filmmaking: If you can’t make it better, make it shorter, and “Semi-Pro” clocks in at 90 minutes. Multiple comedic fast breaks keep the jokes flying between characters. Like a real basketball game, some laughs go in and others miss the rim. Since children under 18 without a parent weren’t allowed in our theater, some of the juvenile humor fell a little flat. My teammate Brian and his wife, Nancy, had a great time with me at the Burbank AMC, and to thank them, I’m putting their name in the paper.

The best supporting character is play-by-play announcer, Dick Pepperfield, played by Andrew Daly. His descriptions of the action and his scenes with Ferrell are outrageous. Numerous B-level stars make cameo appearances throughout the film, and the Andre Benjamin from the group Outkast is also a standout playing Clarence “Coffee” Black.

An extremely small love story is woven into the narrative, but I believe most of the juicy stuff ended up on the cutting room floor.

Females who enjoy basketball and fashion should give this movie a look, but my audience was mainly men. The clothing and uniforms are perfect for the era, and the costume supervisor really did her homework.

A main plot point involves a song called “Love Me Sexy” by Jackie Moon. Ferrell hams it up while singing his hit, and the rest of the music adds a nice touch. If you have fond memories of the ’70s, the soundtrack will take you back.

Most of the reviews for “Semi-Pro” have been negative, and I understand why intellectual types may not like the picture. It’s a low-budget, lowbrow, disposable comedy. If you don’t take yourself too seriously, you’ll definitely laugh.

To be completely honest, unless you’re dying to see the film, just wait until it comes out on DVD. I’m sure the director’s cut will be longer, nastier and funnier because something did seem missing from the final product I saw.

If you want to see a great comedy about basketball, you’ll have to wait another year because “Semi-Pro” is not going to make the cinema playoffs. Just like my hoops game, it’s fun to watch, but in the end, it comes up short.