Family, friends remember David Stiller

Since the death of David Stiller, 78, earlier this year, many in-boxes haven’t been so full.

Actively involved in community affairs until his death, the longtime Costa Mesa resident was remembered at a memorial service Friday for his loyalty to loved ones, passion for civic affairs and propensity for sending emails.

For longtime friend Marge Andrews, the notes Stiller sent sometimes linked to articles in newspapers that explained a political viewpoint different from the one she held.

The pair may have had differing opinions, she explained, but still she had no doubt that Stiller would always stick up for her — and her siblings.

His fidelity was a common theme throughout the 11 a.m. service at the Presbyterian Church of the Covenant in Costa Mesa. More than 50 people attended.

Born Oct., 17,1935, in Pittsburgh, Stiller graduated from high school in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. He then attended the U.S. Naval Academy, graduating in 1957.

Likening Stiller to an older brother, Andrews recalled going to his softball games when he was stationed on a naval base in southern Spain, where she was living as well.

Stiller was a classical music lover (though Andrews recalled him listening to Joan Baez) and a baseball enthusiast who had a particular love for the book “Moby-Dick.” (He was known to recite the passage that included: “If man will strike, strike through the mask.”)

When he left the Navy in 1965, Stiller returned to the Cleveland area. He married Clarisse Neiderer, and they had two sons, Eric and Braden.

In 1971, the young family moved to Costa Mesa, settling into a house on Regis Lane.

Eric Stiller recalled Sunday nights spent watching TV with his dad, who would make popcorn in an electric skillet and wrestle with his sons on the floor during the commercial breaks.

“I don’t think there is more joy that a little boy can have than wrestling with his dad on the floor,” he recalled.

Sharing a poignant moment when his father rescued his younger brother from a neighbor’s pool, Eric Stiller described a deep security he felt in the man’s presence.

He described his father’s movements as powerful, purposeful and quick — attributes that he would continue to display throughout his life.

“He was a man who would leverage whatever power, whatever resources he had to be there for someone,” Eric Stiller said.

Soon after moving to Costa Mesa, Stiller began a 23-year career as an investigator and litigation specialist with Allstate Insurance.

Around that time, as the first Apple computers were coming out, his brother Paul encouraged him to stop using a typewriter and get a computer.

“Unfortunately for us, he actually did do that,” Paul said, laughing in light of all the emails to come. “So please, forgive me.”

Stiller later became heavily involved in the city. Beginning with a post as transportation commissioner in 1991, he served with the city’s finance advisory committee and senior center board of directors, among others.

He also served on a church outreach group, providing a key connection to the community, friend Hank Panian said.

“I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live,” Tim McCalmont, the pastor, read from Ecclesiastes on Friday morning — outlining the characteristics that friends and family remembered of Stiller.

He was someone with whom everyone in the room could relate, and his impact could be seen in many lives, McCalmont said. His life was whole and complete.

“Amen,” the pastor said at the service’s close, then offered a translation for the phrase “Let it be.”