LETTER OF THE WEEK

o7 With all the praise and criticism coming Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s

way after her recent run-in with the owner of the Beach Access surf shop

in Costa Mesa, one reader wonders what would happen if the citizen Laura

Schlessinger called Dr. Laura, the radio talk show hostess. Here’s his

impression on how the dialogue might unfold:

f7

Dr. Laura: Hello, you are on the air, how may I use your troubles to

sell commercials?

Caller: Yes, hello Dr. Laura, I will get straight to my question, but

first let me set the scene. I took my son shopping at the mall and, while

waiting in a surf shop for him to try on some clothes, I picked up a

magazine, looked inside, and discovered material objectionable to me. I

asked the store manager to remove the magazine that I found to contain

the objectionable material. He refused. My request became my demand.

Dr. Laura: Was the store a legitimate retail establishment and was the

magazine legal?

Caller: Yes, it is a regular place, and yes, the magazine is legal.

Dr. Laura: Well then, you should have yanked your son from the

dressing room and marched right out of that store, never to return.

Caller: I did that.

Dr. Laura: Then, my dear, how can I help you?

Caller: The thing is, I am a powerful media figure, and I used my

position as a beacon of light to call for a boycott of this little store.

I decided to use my vast resources to scorn and ridicule the store

because it did not meet my strict moral standards. Now everyone is

reacting by heaping scorn and ridicule upon me when all I want is to make

things perfect in this world. My question is, wasn’t I right to ridicule,

scorn and call for a boycott of this store?

Dr. Laura: No. You overreacted to an otherwise negligible incident.

You should have just left the store, not used your media position to

attack a legitimate store for your own sense of decency. Why did you make

it a federal case in the first place?

Caller: Even legal and legitimate sources of objectionable material

should be eradicated because I want the world to be a perfect place, safe

for all children and other creatures. This store needs to be taught a

lesson that when material is objectionable to me, it should be considered

objectionable to all, I mean it.

Dr. Laura: You know, I hear someone who is a controlling person. A

controlling person wants everything to be their way, just perfect. This

search for perfection is sometimes a means to hide their shame. By trying

to be perfect and demanding a perfect world with perfect people, a

controlling person seeks to atone for their past sins by overcompensating

their virtues now. Are you trying to cover up a less than perfect past?

Caller: Well, I have done things that I would not tolerate in others

now, like taking nude photos. But what does that have to do with

squashing this cockroach of a store whose manager ignored my demand for a

measure of decency?

Dr. Laura: You have a conflicted personality common to many

sinner-to-saint converts. Does the word “hypocrite” mean anything to you?

I suggest you apologize, drop the issue, and seek therapy to deal with

your hidden shame. Learn to cope with your own imperfection and the

imperfection of others. In time you may learn how to live like a tolerant

human being. Time for a break.

Shant Agajanian

Newport Beach