The Moral of the Story

Cindy Trane Christeson

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.”

- Okakura Kakuzo

Those of you who read last week’s column know that Jon and I just left

our youngest daughter, Amy, at college. Many of you have sweetly asked me

how I am doing after such a major change, and I’m still wondering myself.

It’s actually only been a few days, and I’ve felt such a range of

emotions that it’s hard to pinpoint. I guess I could say I’m confused,

comforted and confident.

I’m confused because while much of my life is still the same, so much

else is radically different. In a matter of days, so many “knowns” became

unknowns. I knew things would be different, I just didn’t realize how

different. Even going to the market was different. I went there the other

day and was totally stumped when I had to decide how many bananas to buy.

I’m not alone, as several of my friends also recently entered the

“empty-nest” phase. One friend said she feels like her life has turned

upside down. I can relate to that because I feel like my equilibrium is

off. I haven’t changed time zones, but I’m clearly in a different

mom-zone.

Another friend said: “I know that letting go of our kids is a job that

should begin from the day that they are born, but can you ever be fully

prepared for it? Will you please pray for me Cindy?”

No, I don’t think you can ever be fully prepared for it, and yes, I am

praying for her, and for myself, as well as all my other friends who are

experiencing the same thing. Thankfully, I know God answers prayers.

And yet another friend described how he felt after leaving his son at

college. “It feels like a death,” he said. I have to agree with that,

too, because it is the end of an era, and I need time to grieve that.

Last week had additional sadness because a college friend died

unexpectedly, and our faithful old rabbit, Chocolate Chip, never woke up.

But I’m also comforted because the timing was right, and while Amy may

have left home, God hasn’t left her. She was so ready and so excited

about college, she could barely sit still on the drive up. Once we

arrived, she unpacked boxes, put away clothes and hung pictures in record

time. Then she bounded down the halls to meet people. When I looked at

her and her nonstop smile as she looked around her room, I thought of

that “Annie” song, “I think I’m going to like it here.”

I’m also comforted because my prayers were answered and Amy’s roommate

is a sweet girl who also loves God.

The truth is, we all face changes and adjustments in life, some are

just more major than others. I’m comforted that God never changes and

confident that he will be with me through this big readjustment.

Imagine a table all set for dinner, but the tablecloth was just pulled

out from under it and plates and cups are flying everywhere. That’s how I

feel right now. But I’m also confident, and curious, to see how God wants

to rearrange things for the next course.

And you can quote me on that.CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach

resident who speaks frequently to parenting groups. She can be reached

via e-mail at cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at P.O. Box

6140-#505, Newport Beach 92658.