The dance of their lives

Jessica Garrison

COSTA MESA -- Sentences flowing back and forth between them, one starting

the idea, the other taking it over, Ben and Wendy Harber tell the story

of how they became dancers.

“I started when I was 3 years old. I went to a dance class at the Costa

Mesa community center,” Wendy, 15, said. “Ben came to watch --”

“And I was like, I could do this,” said Ben, 17. “I didn’t want to watch.

I wanted to dance, too.”

“As soon as I could decide what I wanted to do, dancing is what I have

wanted to do,” said Wendy.

So brother and sister danced.

They danced their way through classes at the local recreation center and

through seven years of classes at a studio in Huntington Beach.

And when their teacher said there was nothing more she could do for them,

that they needed a more serious studio, they went together to the

Newport-Mesa Ballet and started dancing under Stela Viorica, a former

principal dancer for the National Ballet of Romania.

For the last five years, the two have partnered each other in recitals,

anticipating each other’s movements much as they finish each other’s

sentences.

There on the wall of the Newport-Mesa Ballet is evidence of their

success: beautiful, ethereal photographs of the brother and sister, their

faces transformed by makeup and the wonder of dancing.

Because Ben and Wendy are not from a rich family, their dance training

has been funded by scholarships.

Tonight, they will perform during a benefit function at the Village Crean

to raise money for those scholarships, and for scholarships to support

other students who, like them, love to dance but cannot possibly afford

to pay for the lessons.

But Ben and Wendy are excited about their dance tonight, in which they

will perform a pas de deux from “Don Quixote,” for another reason: after

12 years of dancing together, the curtain is about to set on their shared

life as dance students.

Ben, who has already been offered a job with a professional company,

plans to join the company next spring after he earns his associate of

arts degree from Orange Coast College.

Wendy, two years younger and, as a woman, facing much fiercer competition

for a spot in a professional company, will stay in Costa Mesa and train.

“It’s exciting and scary,” Ben said of the prospect of leaving.

The two are closer than many siblings because, for the last 10 years,

they have been each other’s constant companion.

“We stay up until like 4 in the morning, having philosophical

discussions,” said Wendy.

Their mother, dismayed at the number of children in their public school

classrooms and the slow speed of the lessons, pulled the children out of

their Costa Mesa elementary school when Ben was in second grade and Wendy

in kindergarten.

She has been home-schooling them ever since.

Now, having earned their high school diplomas, both are full-time

students at Orange Coast College.

Hours and hours each day are spent at the studio, however, where Viorica

and the other teachers fuss over them like surrogate mothers.

Viorica has tried to instill in the two a dedication to the demanding

Russian technique, as well as the sense of decorum and mystery she feels

are essential to dancers.

“Oh, how shiny you look,” Viorica exclaimed to Ben. “How can you be shiny

when you’re going to have your picture taken,” she said, in reference to

a photographer who had turned up to take the siblings’ pictures.

“I’m serious. I am going to powder him,” she said to Wendy, diving into

her bag and coming up with a handful of face powder.

Dancers, she explained, “are special,” and must keep up the mystique of

themselves as aesthetic objects, even as they sweat and strain to keep

their bodies in shape.

Ben and Wendy took this fussing in stride, lifting their faces to accept

powder, but not breaking off their conversation.

An education defined by home-schooling and dance has disciplined and

matured the siblings, Ben said.

Viorica credits the discipline of ballet with shaping their character.

“A child having a passion is important,” she declared. “That’s what’s

missing for American children. No passion. But look at them. They know

what they want. They know how to organize their time. It works not just

for ballet, but for life itself. And they can appreciate music and

beauty.”

Many American fathers, Viorica bemoaned in her accented English, don’t

allow their sons to dance because they don’t think it’s masculine.

Viorica said she loves to take Ben into schools, which the company does

as part of its outreach to teach Orange County children about dance, and

show “how masculine he is.”

At the ripe old age of 17, Ben has already decided what he wants -- to be

a dancer -- and has come up with a contingency plan if that does not work

out.

“The career of a dancer is short,” he said. “Especially in America, it’s

hard to make a living as a dancer. ... and if I break my leg ...”

He has his pilot’s license, is an accomplished guitarist and is almost

finished with a degree in drafting and mathematics.

“I am very impressed with my children. I am amazed that they have grown

up the way they have,” said Linda Harber, the siblings’ mother.

Nevertheless, the life of a dancer is not an easy one -- especially for

Wendy, she said.

Ben, because he is a man -- and a tall one at that -- will probably have

no trouble finding a spot in the corps de ballet somewhere.

For Wendy, becoming a dancer will be “an uphill battle.”

“When we put Wendy into dance when she was 3, there was never anything in

my mind that said she’ll be a professional dancer ... and now Wendy has

put off almost everything in life to dance,” her mother added. “It’s very

scary. She’s not a little stick person, and so she’ll never work for the

New York City ballet. But she’s very strong about it. She says, you know,

‘I like the way I am and I love what I do, and I love to dance, and

hopefully there’s a company out there that will want me because I love to

dance so much.”’

Wendy explained it herself, and, on this important subject, her brother

was silent, letting her speak her mind.

“I love being onstage. I get a rush onstage,” she said. “Some people get

nervous before going onstage. I just wish I could be there longer.”

FYI

WHAT: An evening of ballet and music under the stars, as well as a silent

auction, buffet and no-host bar.

WHEN: Tonight, from 6 to 10 p.m. at the Village Crean, 2300 Mesa Drive,

Newport Beach.

WHY: A benefit for The Ballet Monmartre’s Community Outreach and

Scholarship Program

HOW MUCH: $65 per adult; $30 per child; $100 per couple; $480 per table.

INFORMATION: Call (714) 241-7424. If you’re not able to attend tonight’s

event, but would like to contribute to Newport-Mesa Ballet’s scholarship

fund, send tax-deductible contributions to: Newport-Mesa Ballet, 2790

Harbor Blvd., Suite 210, Costa Mesa 92626.