Trick or Treat

Tony Altobelli

First of all, after watching Cerritos College Falcons and their

Atlanta Falcons-esque emblem on their football helmets, I noticed that’s

right where the resemblance ends between them.

Because on the field, if the Atlanta Falcons and Cerritos Falcons got

together, it would be no contest.

My money would be on Cerritos.

I would have loved to have seen Palomar and Cerritos battle in the

season opener, which was won by Palomar, 24-10.

If they were to play again, perhaps in an upcoming bowl game, I would

bet the farm on the Falcons.

Sure, Orange Coast College managed to put up some outstanding

offensive numbers against the Falcons’ defense, but let’s look a little

closer at the 40-17 Cerritos victory.

Once OCC reached the Falcons’ 30-yard line, which they did five times

in the game, guess how many yards the Bucs gained?

A whopping 15 yards on nine plays for three points.

I’m not counting the two fourth-quarter touchdown drives, when

Cerritos was playing everyone but the cheerleaders and the mascot.

Though looking at some of their cheerleaders ... nah, I won’t go

there.

Speaking of rah-rah-rah, the Falcons have to lead the conference in

pure voltage and dance moves before and during a football game.

I guess when you’re 5-1 and ranked among the best in the country,

you’re allowed to turn the football field into Studio 54.

I haven’t seen such quality choreography since the Laker Girls at the

Forum.

With Halloween just days away, I’ve been trying to think of what some

of the locals and some non-locals will be wearing this year.

Pirates’ quarterback Jared Flint should dress up as Superman, because

only someone superhuman can take the beatings he’s been taking and still

be successful.

He should NOT, however, dress up as Randy Moss or anything after his

touchdown catch last week. Let’s not get crazy.

For longtime coaching legend and Daily Pilot Hall of Famer Paul

Briggs, a combo costume. He’s got the voice voltage for Michael Buffer

(“Let’s get ready to RUM-BLE!!!) and the intensity of “Mickey” from the

Rocky movies.

For head coach Mike Taylor, he can dress up in anything he wants. I

still have to interview him for the next four weeks.

Pirates women’s cross country sensation Zoila Gomez has an easy choice

of two: Forrest Gump for all that “runn-ning, Jenn-nie” or the Energizer

Bunny because she keeps on going and going and going ...

If she goes with the Gump outfit, does that make Coach John Goldman

“Lieutenant Dan?”

Going out of town slightly, for those who were not at the OCC-Cerritos

game, let me tell you about Falcons backup linebacker Jason Buasen.

He’s 5-foot-zero, 165 pounds.

That’s right, 5-foot, NOTHING, a buck sixty-five.

Finally, someone my mother can have an eye-to-eye talk with.

I had the opportunity to tower next to him and believe me, he’s built

like a tank.

But, he’s 5-foot NOTHING, a buck sixty-five.

I had the feeling if I laughed in his presence, he could reach up and

rip my leg right off of me; from the knee down, of course.

He’s dressing up as Notre Dame’s “Rudy,” if he can fit in the uniform.

For my buddies, the winless Golden West Rustlers, who are taking on a

nationally-ranked Palomar College that’s fuming mad after losing last

week.

The Palomar players can all dress up as the Bulls of Spain while the

Rustlers can go as the Pamplona residents who are just trying to avoid

getting gored in a sensitive area.

I’m obviously going as the Tin Man, because I have no heart.