The Moral of the Story

Cindy Trane Christeson

o7 “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”f7 -- John Bowring

Recently, I heard two mothers say how much older and more mature their

college freshmen seemed when they attended recent parents’ weekends.

Most universities have weekends designed for parental visits in the fall.

Perhaps it’s the ideal time, with leaves changing colors and weather not

being too cold. I don’t know why, but the college our daughters attend

doesn’t have its parents’ weekend until February.

I wasn’t happy about that when my daughter, Kelly, was a freshman, but I

ended up seeing some pluses for our family. For one thing, her college

starts near the end of September as opposed to the middle of August,

which is when so many others begin. Perhaps visiting in October would be

too soon.

Another benefit we’ve enjoyed for two years was the opportunity to get to

know Kelly’s friends as well as their parents. By the time February came

around, her friendships were pretty well established. We had time alone

with Kelly, but each year different friends organized fun outings for the

families to share.

The activities have ranged from formal attire and swing dancing, to very

casual while digging for mussels at the beach. I’ve enjoyed talking to

people with diverse interests and occupations, which include pastor,

pilot and politician.By the time last year’s parents’ weekend came

around, we included our other daughter, Amy, since we knew she would be

attending the same school. For us it was a fun family weekend. Amy spent

the first night with Kelly in her sorority house. The second night both

girls joined us in the hotel. We relaxed and talked and thoroughly

enjoyed being together.

Kelly echoed my feelings that night when she said, “It feels so good to

be the four of us again. I love being with my family.”Then Jon and Kelly

needed to work on Kelly’s bicycle, so Amy and I read.

Kelly looked over and saw me reading my Bible. She smiled and said, “I

love having a mom who I know is praying for me.”

I do pray for my family every day and I know they pray for me. I don’t

know why God has blessed me so richly in this way, but I am very, very

thankful. I also know that holidays can be difficult for those with no

family or those with strained relationships. But I’ve learned from others

that there are creative ways to build special bonds just the same.

Last year two families served the Thanksgiving meal together at a local

shelter.

“I felt more warmth in that room than I ever did at home,” one member

said.

Another friend who is a single mother told me she and her son felt right

at home when they were invited to join another family last year.

“The woman had us come early to help cook, which really made me feel like

family,” she said. “And she isn’t even one of my close friends. She is

one of my clients. I can’t tell you how special that made me feel. I want

to do things like that for others, no matter what season it is.”Maybe we

all need to look for ways to be family for someone else. And you can

quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She can be reached via e-mail at o7

cindy@onthegrow.comf7 or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach 92658.