Workshop aims to answer tough questions

Greg Risling

COSTA MESA -- Touting an impressive list of speakers who have either been

a victim of violence or have dealt with it firsthand, a three-day

workshop took aim at answering some of the issue’s most perplexing

questions.

The sessions, 14 in all, attracted more than 1,000 students who packed

the Student Center Lounge on the OCC campus. The student-run workshop is

held annually and tackles a variety of social issues. This year,

organizers felt it was necessary to address random violence, calling the

series, “Victory Over Violence.”

“People have talked about the problems and now it’s time to find the

solutions,” said Eddie Hooes, one of the students who planned the event.

“If we can get people to spread the word, maybe we might get things

solved. If we don’t get involved, nothing will get done.”

Speakers came from all walks of life, ranging from law enforcement

officers, educators or social workers. The first was Tanya Brown, the

younger sister of Nicole Brown Simpson, who was brutally murdered outside

her Brentwood apartment in 1995.

Another speaker, who shares Brown’s pain of losing a loved one, was Cindy

Soto. The Costa Mesa resident talked on Wednesday about her 4-year-old

daughter, Sierra, who was killed in May along with 3-year-old Brandon

Wiener. The tots were frolicking in a child care center’s playground when

an oncoming car plowed into them. The driver has been charged with

murder, allegedly making statements that he was out to “kill innocent

children.”

The last six months have been a time for healing for Soto, who has spent

much of her time creating a foundation in her daughter’s name. Soto hopes

the foundation can facilitate change and provide better safety at day

care centers and possibly public schools. The playground where her

daughter was playing was protected only by a chain-link fence.

Soto gave an emotional 35-minute presentation that dealt with the

foundation’s objectives and her viewpoints on random violence.

Stating she has been given a crash course in coping with the issue, she

supports the college’s efforts to address the problem.

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see there is a problem with

violence,” she said. “We have to work together to stop this.

“Living in the aftermath of a situation that involved violence, it’s

important to talk with an audience who are our future. Speaking helps

purge my emotions into something positive.”

Although no definitive answers were given as to how to eliminate the

heinous acts that have captured headlines, some presenters spoke about

warning signs.

Probably the most animated speaker, the only one to give a presentation

twice, was Emma LaMer, an OCC professor. LaMer delved into the male

psyche and tackled the question of “Why Males Kill.”

In at least five shootings this year, the perpetrator has been a man.

LaMer said men have a “code of masculinity,” where they are only able to

show two of seven emotions: joy and anger. The other emotions -- fear,

sadness, shame, guilt and loneliness -- are repressed at an early age and

can lead to anger.

“Every time you are lonely, it turns into anger,” she said. “Every time

you are shamed, it turns into anger. Eventually, it turns into rage and

at the end of that is violence.”

LaMer noted boys ages 12 to 19 are 400 times more likely to kill than

women. But she believes violent behavior in men can be curbed if the code

is broken.

“If you took every emotion away from women except joy and anger, you

would have women committing these shootings,” she added. “When you

disconnect from your emotions, then you don’t care about yourself and

don’t have empathy for others. When you lose your emotions, you become

violent.”