Yuletide rituals

Alex Coolman

A holiday, theater director Jonathan Miller once said, is an expensive

trial of strength.

“The only satisfaction,” he wrote, “comes from survival.”

But not everyone takes such a jaundiced view of the holidays. An informal

survey of a few Newport-Mesa locals suggests there are many who do more

than merely survive the Christmas season: some people actually manage to

enjoy it.

The key, apparently, is to have a few traditions that give the day

meaning, apart from tearing the wrapping paper off gifts.

Even if it’s a custom as simple as the one Newport Beach Councilman

Dennis O’Neil practices -- “to try to be as close to our family as we can

during the holidays and celebrate what Christmas is really all about” --

having a tradition gives the holiday some larger significance and a tie

to nonmaterialistic joy.

For Dayna Pettit, president of the board of the Balboa Performing Arts

Foundation, Christmastime means opening the house to people who are less

fortunate.

Pettit has a custom of baking several different kinds of cookies --

Swedish tea, oatmeal and chocolate meringue are perennial favorites --

along with a batch of chili-cheese bread. Then, when the food is ready,

Pettit hosts a Christmas Eve dinner for elderly friends, shut-ins, and

others who would not otherwise have family with whom to spend the

holidays.

On Christmas Day itself, Pettit eats with her own family. But the 24th is

reserved for people who could use a little company.

“I do this because I don’t have any children, and someday maybe I’ll be

alone and somebody will have me over Christmas Eve,” Pettit said.

Newport-Mesa school board member Jim Ferryman hosts a meat-intensive meal

at his house, cooking up both a turkey and a slab of prime rib for about

25 family members.

“The Ferryman clan has got a lot of people associated with it,” Ferryman

said. “I’ve got five brothers and sisters and my in-laws are around here

as well.”

Ferryman and his brother team up on the cooking, roasting the turkey on a

Webber barbecue and heating the prime rib in the oven.

“Nobody goes hungry,” Ferryman said.

The family of Maria Elena Avila, community activist and owner of Avila’s

El Ranchito Mexican restaurants, typically eats a traditional Mexican

Christmas Eve dinner of tamales, prepared by Avila’s mother, and spicy

punches that are made from hibiscus and tamarind.

For Christmas Day, the family has developed a special practice. Each

member of the family takes a turn holding a candle. When they do, Avila

said, “it’s their turn to express how Jesus Christ brought light into the

world.

“It’s our own tradition that we’ve developed,” Avila said. “To me, it’s

very beautiful.”

Jean Forbath, founder of Share Our Selves, has such a large family that

the group has taken to meeting the Sunday before Christmas, at the

Balearic Center in Costa Mesa. Over a hundred people come to the potluck

event, Forbath said.

“They come all the way from San Diego to Santa Barbara,” Forbath said.

“It’s three generations.”

To entertain the crowd, the children of the family typically put on a

play. Later, when the adults are chatting the afternoon away, the kids

get to go into the park and play on the swings.

Gay Wassall-Kelly’s oyster dressing is an annual tradition that her

children aren’t particularly crazy about, but she makes it just the same.

Wassall-Kelly, a longtime Balboa resident, also has a slightly eccentric

holiday practice: she likes to dress up as a Christmas tree, complete

with battery-powered flashing Christmas lights.

“I walk around and embarrass most everyone in my family,” she joked.

Wassall-Kelly said her mother used to walk around wearing a mink coat on

Christmas.

“I guess this is my mink coat,” she said.