DUBIOUS DISTINCTIONS

Compiled by S.J. Cahn, Jenifer Ragland and Nancy Cheever

In newsroom lore, some editor somewhere came up with a name for the

little yarns that keep readers amused. He called them the “Hey Ethel,

look at this story” stories.

So to keep you amused, at least until the end of the century, the Daily

Pilot presents the annual rundown of the shameful, the wretched, the

curious, the funny, the very funny -- the moments that are worth a second

glance and the headlines that gave you double takes.

JANUARY

Way before Comcast Cable could blame Y2K for the problem, Newport Beach

residents got a bad New Year’s treat in the mail. Thanks to the wrong

push of a button, January’s bills were twice the normal cost -- not the

best PR for a company that, Deputy City Manager Dave Kiff said, “some

people love ... some people hate.”

It almost became illegal to feed Newport’s wild birds, but the City

Council flew away from the contentious decision and instead settled on a

campaign to educate people about how much environmental damage the birds’

waste can cause. The bird lovers in the audience loved the decision,

which allowed them to continue “an innocent pleasure in a world that

seems filled with violence and smut.”

Remember Douglas Kritz? We didn’t think so. That’s how 15 minutes of fame

works. Kritz’s 15 minutes came after he was the one millionth guest at

the Newport Dunes on Jan. 22. It took more than 40 years for the Dunes to

top that magic number, and just a few months for everyone to forget about

it.

FEBRUARY

This was one job that got all mucked up. It came to light that SoliFlo

Partners, L.P. had accidentally dropped 600,000 cubic yards of sand, silt

and sediment in the wrong place in the ocean. It would be several more

months before the bay’s dredging would be completed.

A story with a happier ending, at least for most people on Balboa Island,

was the rise and fall of the Bad Ass Coffee Co. of Kona, Hawaii. The name

-- though not the hot java product behind the store’s doors -- didn’t go

down well with the island’s close community. But, not to worry. The shop

closed up in August.

Back Bay residents said they weren’t sure if it was a machine gun or a

bomb, but they knew it wasn’t funny. The unannounced fireworks show at

the Newport Dunes had a handful of people clapping at the unexpected

pyrotechnics. After about 20 calls the next morning, the resort’s general

manager, Tim Quinn, decided to put a halt to the shows, except on the

Fourth of July. “We just don’t want to upset the public,” he said.

MARCH

Marie Boguszewski might not have caused any harm, but there certainly

seemed to be a foul after the Chicago woman was arrested for stalking

then-Laker and still Newport Beach resident Dennis Rodman. The

35-year-old eventually pleaded guilty to 10 misdemeanor counts of making

threatening phone calls, but the serious charges were dropped. It was

just one of a series of dubious moments for “The Worm,” who was arrested

on suspicion of public drunkenness after allegedly falling off his boat

near Woody’s Wharf. Those charges were dropped, but we’re all awaiting

the next chapter in the Life and Times of Dennis, who now faces drunk

driving charges.

How cold is the human heart? Costa Mesa police would probably hold up

Michael Goldberg as a test subject. Goldberg was arrested on charges of

writing bad checks at trade shows -- for Beanie Babies. He also would

trade the sought-after collectibles, but not send anything in return,

police alleged.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the Corona del Mar business

district. At least, a number of business owners there didn’t think so

after the city tore out 48 ficus trees, which were causing damage to

sidewalks. It was only a first step, however. In the fall, the business

district unveiled a plan to spruce up the area, especially at the corner

of MacArthur and East Coast Highway.

APRIL

The Easter Bunny had a little competition this year as an angry sea lion

rose from the harbor to block traffic to a church just as cars were

arriving for Easter sunrise service. It took animal control officers more

than two hours to coax the 350-pound animal back into the water.

Costa Mesa Chamber of Commerce President Ed Fawcett proved he’s got a

soft side when he and some fellow chamber workers saw a group of ducks

walking across Adams Avenue. They ran out to stop traffic and make sure

“mama duck” and her dozen ducklings made a safe crossing.

Long before the first Pokemon movie, Lincoln, Mariners and Kaiser

elementary schools banned the pocket monster trading cards. “It was

disrupting the instructional program,” Kaiser Principal Daryle Palmer

said. “We had fights over them, and I finally said, ‘No more.”’

MAY

Socialite turned convicted drug dealer Tina Schafnitz was released from

jail. But instead of hitting the social circuit right away, she decides

to focus her attention on rebuilding her relationship with her family.

Her attorney, Robert Newman, predicts: “‘We have not heard the last of

Tina Schafnitz.”

One by one they came -- equipped with lawn chairs, light sabers and more

than one copy of “Trivial Pursuit: The Star Wars Edition” -- to wait in

line for the most anticipated movie of the summer on the biggest screen

in the West. The circus-like atmosphere at Big Newport in Fashion Island

was one of thousands of similar scenes nationwide prior to the debut of

“Episode I: The Phantom Menace,” which opened May 19.

Former vice president and then-presidential hopeful Dan Quayle descended

on Newport Beach for a breakfast with the Orange County Republican Party.

He stressed the need for tax reduction, revived his familiar position on

“family values” and wondered why there wasn’t a hash brown potatoe ...

er, potato, in sight.

JUNE

David Fitzgerald proved it pays to have your morning coffee when a Toyota

Camry plowed through the wall of his office on the 4500 block of Campus

Drive. Despite having spinning wheels inches from his face, Fitzgerald

sprang to his feet, pried the doors off the car and helped rescue the

67-year-old driver, who had mistakenly put the wrong pedal to the metal.

Who knew a house could generate so much controversy? The Samoa house, as

it was so affectionately called, stirred up a Mesa Verde neighborhood

when neighbors pointed out that the home had three stories instead of the

maximum two. City officials, uttering a collective “oops,” sided with

neighbors and required the third story be torn down.

Rupert’s saga, part 1: Balboa resident Gay Wassall-Kelly is successful in

her years-long attempt at making a love connection for Rupert, the black

swan known as the unofficial mascot of Newport Harbor. At first, Rupert

showed little interest in the freshwater swan named Pearl that

Wassall-Kelly adopted for him. But after a few days of getting to know

each other, the two began getting along swimmingly.

Bartender Danny Cullinane offers a $250 reward for the return of his

beloved Spuds McKenzie statue, which was stolen from Woody’s Wharf during

Memorial Day weekend. Judging from Cullinane’s reaction to the theft,

“Spudzie” was more than just a hunk of cheap plastic: “We used to dress

him up during the holidays. We took real good care of him. He was like a

real dog.”

Rupert’s saga, part 2: Wassall-Kelly put word out that Rupert’s new mate,

Pearl, had gone missing. Her efforts proved successful when the black

swan was found at an animal shelter in Orange.

JULY

Straight out of firefighter lore, a rookie fireman saved a kitty -- not

out of a tree, but from a house filled with smoke. Aussie the tabby was

terrified, trapped in her house while a fire was blazing in a nearby

garage. When 26-year-old Brett Sutherland found Aussie, she wasn’t hurt

-- but her hair was standing on end.

Just when you thought you were having enough fun in the sun, along comes

the Orange County Fair, with its golden theme, “Join the Rush.” Of the

famous entertainers who graced the stage -- including Weird Al Yankovich,

Sinbad, Vonda Shepard and Peter Frampton -- Frampton proved the most

high-maintenance. He wanted a variety of mixed nuts; a coffee maker;

Starbucks French Roast and flavored coffee in the bean; Black Forest ham

and smoked turkey; and an in-ear stage monitor.

“I’ve just been threatened.” The quote by Councilman Tod Ridgeway will

forever be remembered in the Newport Beach city politics Hall of Shame,

along with, “There was an incident,” and “The city manager is leaving? No

comment.” Luckily, the drama of the note passed to Ridgeway by now-mayor

John Noyes died down in less than two weeks -- when the Daily Pilot

finally caught wind of it and saw that it was, of course, blown out of

proportion.

AUGUST

Confronting burglars, part 1: Four men tried to stop two intruders -- one

of whom was armed with a gun -- from making off with two cellular phones

and about $800 in cash. They went as far as grabbing the gun and

disabling the ammunition and then attacking the burglars with a baseball

bat. Police warned: “It’s not worth risking your life when someone tries

to steal your property.”

A 350-pound construction worker proved Isaac Newton’s famous law of

physics, but defied all plausibility when he fell from the fourth story

of a hotel and landed on his feet. What’s even more strange? He suffered

no major injuries from the incident. “He was fortunate,” said Newport

Beach Fire Department Lt. John Blauer. We’ll say.

Costa Mesa resident Robert Gelinas was arrested on suspicion of animal

cruelty charges stemming from an incident with a pit bull 15 months

earlier. The dog was allegedly heading after his 5-year-old son when

Gelinas shot the animal with a pellet gun. But the district attorney’s

office claimed Gelinas then chased the animal down the street and beat it

to death with a shovel, hence the cruelty charges.

SEPTEMBER

Local residents say “goodbye,” and then “hello again” to the Cannery

Restaurant. The beloved eatery teeming with history closed its doors

Sept. 12 with looming plans for a condominium complex, but not without

plenty of attention from the Daily Pilot. That attention, in part,

possessed a local resident to purchase the building from owner Bill

Hamilton and continue its use as a restaurant.

What were those glowing objects floating in the waters off Newport Beach?

Needles? Trash? Raw sewage? Nope. Those were jumbo squid, the creatures

that return every two to three years to freak out local fisherman. The

Humboldt or flying squid are usually 2- to 3-feet long, weigh 2 to 5

pounds and in rare cases can be grow to 12 feet. Thankfully, their

cousins, the infamous giant squid, stayed far off the coast. Fisherman

delighted in their catch: about 500 per hour, per boat.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger may have met her match when Hustler publisher

Larry Flynt got in on the Beach Access debate. Flynt vowed to help cover

Beach Access owner Thomas Moore’s lawyer fees, if need be. Schlessinger

had filed a $1-million lawsuit in Orange County Superior Court against

Moore for publicly calling her a liar. But Flynt would never get the

opportunity to step into the fray, as the lawsuit was thrown out in

December.

OCTOBER

What’s for dinner? Well, if you’re Debra Kincato, it may be your pet

feline. Firefighters found the Costa Mesa woman’s skinned, chopped and

charred pet cat, Beauty, in her oven after neighbors had seen billowing

smoke coming from Kincato’s windows and complained of a foul stench.

Kincato was taken to a local hospital and authorities considered pressing

animal cruelty charges. Neighbors in her apartment complex -- in the 600

block of Park Avenue -- said Kincato “wasn’t really friendly with

neighbors.”

The Smyth brothers were so careful when they buried their time capsule in

Muldoon’s Irish Pub in Newport Beach that now no one can get it out of

the brick wall. It was 1974 when the brothers -- then the owners of the

pub -- packed their secret capsule away. The new owners will have to

remove the capsule with special equipment so that the building isn’t

damaged during excavation.

Professors at OCC were beside themselves when they received a partially

decomposed cadaver from Phillip Guyett Jr. The profs alerted officials

after they received the body from Western University in Pomona, where it

had been willed. Guyett, 32, from Corona, was allegedly selling bodies

and body parts and keeping the money for himself. He has since pleaded

innocent to grand theft of personal property and unlawful disposal of a

body.

NOVEMBER

Little Alexandra Mazur of Costa Mesa set a world record this summer with

her 11-pound catfish catch at Laguna Niguel Lake. The fish was almost as

heavy as the 4-year-old Mazur, who was recognized by the International

Game Fish Assn. in Florida for her achievement. According to her

certificate, the record she set was for “a catch of the heaviest fish of

a species, and that the catch was made in accordance with international

angling regulations.”

Confronting burglars, part 2: Don’t call her a little old lady. An

81-year-old Costa Mesa woman scared off a burglar after she was rustled

from her bed early one Friday morning. Police said she “did the trick”

when she told the burglar if he didn’t leave, she would get her gun and

shoot him. After running out the front door, 31-year-old Hien Le was

caught about a block away, hiding from authorities. Police recovered the

victim’s checkbook, cellular phone and cash.

Too much makeup couldn’t disguise a burglary at the Sally Beauty Supply

in Costa Mesa. Desperate to pay some bills, police say roommates Melina

Vasquez and Silvia Caballero, who were employees of the store, conceived

a plan to make an easy killing during the busy holiday shopping season.

Shortly after the store opened one morning, Caballero called police to

report an armed robbery by a man and a female accomplice. When police

arrived at the scene, they said they observed Vasquez walking across the

street with wads of money hanging out of her pockets. She was reportedly

found to have $1,600 of the store’s money. The two were arrested and

booked on suspicion of grand theft and burglary charges.

DECEMBER

The third time wasn’t a charm for conservative school board member Wendy

Leece, as she was passed over for a leadership position again this year.

The first time, she wanted to be clerk, but the board chose Ed Decker

instead. When Decker then left the post to join the race for

superintendent, Leece was asked to step in. When it came time last year

for her to make the progression to vice president, she was overlooked.

This time, thinking there was no way she would get vice president or

president, Leece asked simply to be clerk again. No dice. The board

instead chose Judy Franco, who, in her decades of experience on the

board, has served multiple times in the various posts. Maybe for Leece,

it will be the fourth time.

Patricia Hotz was trying to save lives, but the 51 cats found in her

Costa Mesa home may have to be euthanized if she can’t find homes for

them. In the past 20 years, Hotz has rescued more than 100 stray felines,

and most have been placed in permanent homes. But she kept many of them,

prompting animal control officials to turn her over to the county

district attorney’s office, which charged Hotz with a misdemeanor crime.

It is part of the city’s municipal code that a resident cannot have more

than four pets. They gave Hotz until the end of the year to find homes

for all of the cats or face a criminal trial. She could get up to one

year in jail and $1,000 fine if convicted. By Dec. 21, Hotz had reduced

the number of cats living in her home by 50%.

NikeTown employees got a crude awakening one Monday morning when the

store’s basement had sewage water seeping through its walls. The store at

Triangle Square was forced to close during the prime holiday shopping

season, and remained closed for two days. A Nike spokesperson said there

were “unbearable odors” and that it was a priority to “get people out of

there.” The leak was apparently caused by a crack in the mall’s clay

sewer pipe under 19th Street.