Dining Review

Kathy Mader

Sometimes you just have to. You know for your health, your heart and your

waist, you shouldn’t, but sometimes it is as important to your survival

as a new car: You just gotta have a hamburger.

I am not talking your Wednesday and Sunday 29-cent special -- though

these definitely have their virtues. I am talking your mega-meat,

mega-cheese, double everything, complete with double fries and a double

soda. Besides, if you’re a good American, you consistently reject all

that health/heart stuff anyway.

What could be more American than a good burger? Funny that a local Irish

pub has one of the best. Muldoon’s Irish Pub’s (202 Newport Center Drive,

Newport Beach) macho burger ($8.40) with jack cheese, sliced avocado and

a grilled ortega pepper is one of the greats. This burger offers pretty

much all you could hope for in a burger, yet it is pricey and that alone

knocks it out of first place. A burger is an inalienable right, and money

should never be an issue.

On PCH in Corona del Mar, The Place’s (2920 Pacific Coast Highway, Corona

del Mar) flame-burger ($5.75) is one secret I can’t keep. Those of you

who have had it know exactly what I am talking about. What is better than

a jumbo burger piled high with bacon, avocado and the rest, accompanied

by fries and five televisions playing five different sports games? The

TVs alone make it my husband Brian’s favorite burger. But this burger is

great even at home alone in your closet -- not that I’m a closet

burger-sneaker mind you.

It is with a touch of sadness that I bid a fond farewell to Chili’s

peppercorn burger ($5.95), a heavy-duty burger rubbed in black peppercorn

and spices, topped with “awesome blossom” onions and bleu cheese. There

is also some relief on my part that I can’t just get this burger on a

whim anymore. I will now actually have to earn it by driving two towns

over to get it.

Ruby’s (17th St., Costa Mesa and PCH Corona del Mar, Balboa Pier)

burgers consistently score high with me. Mix and match is the name of the

game. I take the sourdough bread in the beach burger, with the best of

the bleu burger, the mainstay of the mushroom burger and happily call it

the Kathy burger. The name has yet to catch on at Ruby’s, but I imagine

it will shortly.

Feedback from your friends is a vital part of burger research. And why

not mention their favorites? My friend BK likes the TK Burger and that’s

OK with me. TK Burgers (211 Balboa Ave., Newport Beach at 22nd Street),

rubs mustard and spices on the patty before and during grilling which,

once accompanied by all the crucial accouterments, makes for a darn tasty

burger.

Claudia votes for the In-N-Out cheeseburger as a hands-down winner for

the best burger around. And I would be remiss if I did not agree. The

double-double is absolutely in the top five. But then my friend, Karen,

recognizes the beauty in simplicity and the healing powers of a

McDonald’s cheeseburger for the morning after a night of too many.

My would-be friend (if he only knew me) Bruce Springsteen goes for the

mighty Fatburger, replete with bacon and egg. Bacon and egg? Well, he is

the Boss.

Kate votes for the frisco burger at Marie Callendar’s (17th St., Costa

Mesa), extra thick sourdough bread, secret frisco sauce, messy and big

with pickles and bacon. Grilled onions are optional.

You simply cannot discuss hamburgers without giving a nod to the Big Mac.

The Big Mac? What the!? Well, you and I both know that this hamburger is

not even in the top 50 of gourmet burgers. But every now and then you not

only want, but need a Big Mac, and nothing else will do. Nothing. And at

$3.39 for the value meal, you cannot beat the price.

Clearly there is no shortage of great burgers in town. But there is one

that stands above all others. My No. 1 burger, based solely on the taste

but with the added bonus of true value, is E-Z Takeout’s hamburger, the

wild thing (the works), fuel injected with French fries. It’s simply the

best.

From the simple grilled hamburger to the gargantuan grand slam -- five

patties and five slices of cheese with lettuce, tomatoes, and grilled

onions, E-Z burgers are the way to go.

Get in line on 17th Street between Santa Ana and Tustin. It will be the

tastiest three bucks you’ve ever spent.

Now, if after reading this you don’t see your favorite burger on the list

and feel that it “could of been a contender,” please e-mail the Daily

Pilot and let us know. I will be more than happy to come on down and

taste that burger. After all, it is research.

* KATHY MADER’s dining reviews appear every other Thursday. She can be

reached via e-mail at dailypilot@latimes.com.