TONY DODERO -- Editor’s Notebook

May 3, 1999. It was a day that this newsroom will never forget.

A day, nearly one year ago, when word came in that an unthinkable tragedy

had occurred. Preschool children had been mowed down by a car that

careened onto the playground of Southcoast Childhood Learning Center.

For two reporters, Greg Risling and Drew Harris, and photographer Don

Leach, it was a day they will never forget either.

As they arrived on the scene, they couldn’t believe the carnage. Two

children lay dead, several others were injured.

And then, more unthinkable news.

“It registered with me right away that kids had died, but at first [Drew

and I] thought it was an accident,” Risling said as he recalled last

year’s tragedy. “But when Police Chief Dave Snowden whispered in my ear

the guy had done it on purpose, I felt sick.”

The horror sparked Costa Mesa Mayor Gary Monahan to utter one

unforgettable quote:

“It is insanity.”

Steven Allen Abrams, who is still awaiting trial for his alleged crimes,

reportedly told authorities that he wanted to hurt the “innocent.”

I wasn’t editing the Daily Pilot then, though I was in the newsroom

working on other projects. But I quickly jumped into the newsroom hustle

and bustle to see if I could help with the coverage.

And I know I’ll never forget this story either.

As a newsman, I’ve covered stories before where children were killed.

But for the first time in my life, I was doing so as a father with a

newborn girl at home.

And as I learned of the deaths of Sierra Soto and Brandon Wiener, I

agonized over just what I would do if someone had done this to my child.

As the evening dragged on, the emotions heightened. Risling and Harris

spoke of how badly they felt for the young children, both reporters at

the verge of breakdown.

“For a moment I didn’t want to do my job,” Risling said. “The more time

that went by, the more it pained me to interview people and write the

story. It’s a story I will always be connected to both in my head and my

heart.”

But it got worse.

Photographer Leach returned with the images from the playground.

One stark photo will always haunt those of us in the newsroom that night.

A firefighter kneeling next to the covered body of Sierra, his hand on

his head as if trying to fathom the evil that could have done this.

The photo became the topic of a hot debate in the newsroom over whether

or not it should run, and I must admit I was one of those who favored

running it. It wasn’t that I wanted to hurt the families any more, but I

also don’t believe that we, the media, can shield the world from all the

bad in the world.

In my mind, there had even been precedence for it. Four years earlier,

every news organization in the world had run the touching photograph of a

fireman in Oklahoma City carrying a dead baby that had been in a

preschool at the bombed Federal Building.

Ultimately, then-Daily Pilot Editor William Lobdell made the final call.

The photo wouldn’t run. It wasn’t a popular decision, but it is one that

Lobdell to this day believes is the right one. And in hindsight, if it

saved those families any additional pain, then I think he was right.

Alas, I wish I could say that a year later the pain has subsided for all

involved in this tragedy.

It hasn’t.

Two lawsuits have been filed against the preschool operators and Abrams

by the parents of the dead children.

Abrams is scheduled to go to trial June 26. Despite his earlier reported

admission to the police, he is now claiming to be innocent, which could

prove for a long and agonizing trial.

Ironic, isn’t it? Innocent.

The very word he purportedly uttered on that day, the very thing he

allegedly wanted to wipe out.

Despite that horror and all that pain, innocence has survived. Though I’m

sure for the families who lost children, it’s hard to see that.

*

To remember that fateful day, the Southcoast Childhood Learning Center

will tie ribbons on the center fence and put up two banners for both

Sierra and Brandon and six balloons that represent all the dead and

injured.

The balloons will be set free at 5:15 p.m. and there will be a moment of

silence in the children’s memory.

Additionally, watch for more coverage of the tragedy in the Daily Pilot

on Wednesday.

* TONY DODERO is the editor of the Daily Pilot. He can be reached at

(949) 574-4258 or via e-mail at tony.dodero@latimes.com .