JOSEPH N. BELL -- The Bell Curve
Allison Hart
City Manager
Irvine, Calif.
Dear Allison:
Nice to hear from you.
I have to tell you up front that the tone of your letter to my wife and
me last week was quite different from the previous correspondence we
received from you Irvine people. Quite different.
I’d be more specific, but I didn’t save those earlier communications. I’m
ashamed to tell you that some of them made me angry enough that I tore
them up. Honestly.
I don’t usually give in to such uncivil urges, but I think it was the one
that exploited the death of Marine pilots a number of years ago to
support your argument that an El Toro airport was unsafe that pushed me
over the edge. Of course, there were a number of others just slightly
less offensive. I’m sure you remember.
Before you bring it up, I’ll have to admit that we sent out a couple of
doozies, too, that left me feeling pretty uncomfortable.
But you had five or six or seven -- I was never sure which -- million
dollars to spend and a good deal more creativity in manufacturing
information than we did. I’ll give you that.
Now I understand that some of your citizens are talking about suing the
city for spending all that public money to torpedo the El Toro airport,
but I’m sure you and Christina and Larry will work that out. It may cost
a couple mil more for lawyers’ fees, but what the hell, that’s a small
price to pay for winning.
Anyway, to get back to your letter, I thought it was heartwarming that
you want all of us to pull together for that “Great Park that will be the
envy of the nation” -- as you so eloquently put it in your letter. That
way, we can turn our backs on “those six long years of pitting neighbor
against neighbor and city against city.” I think that’s a wonderful
sentiment, and I’m just sorry that it didn’t occur to you several years
earlier.
Possibly you also remember that there were two previous elections on the
El Toro airport. To brush you up a bit, voters favored the airport by a
slim margin the first time and by a large margin the second. Thus the
city of Irvine had the same opportunity then that you are offering us
now: to accept the mandate of the electorate and help unite our
communities by joining with us to plan a Great Airport that would be the
envy of the nation.
But that’s not quite the direction you took. Instead, you applied the
double-or-nothing principle: we’ll just keep flipping the coin until we
win. That was very clever. But the next step topped it. You and your
consultants brainstormed the two most unattractive things that can befall
a community -- your choice of toxic waste dumps and jails was a stroke of
genius -- and put them in tandem with the airport. So everyone who voted
for the airport also voted for jails and landfills. Diabolical but
beautiful.
From there, it was all downhill -- fueled by five or six or seven million
dollars, of course. Crank out those mailers. Instill fear in the heart of
everyone within a hundred miles of the airport. Tie the whole idea of an
El Toro airport to a few ultra-rich industrial barons who could care less
about the discomfort it would produce on the ground. And you were home
free -- especially when you found out that your own industrial barons
like the Irvine Co. and Disney were not going to throw in with the other
side.
So you won big.
And now you would like my wife and me to fill out and return the “Great
Park Community Action Form” and to attend a meeting in our community to
help plan the Great Park.
I’m afraid, Allison, that you’re moving a little too fast for us here. If
I suggested such a meeting in my community -- which, not incidentally, is
about a quarter-mile from the nearest John Wayne runway -- there’s a fair
chance I might be lynched. My neighbors feel strongly about such matters.
If, as you suggest, my support of this effort is critical to its success,
then we’re in some real trouble.
First of all, I have no idea what the Great Park is or why “it will
benefit all of Orange County.” You see, there were a lot of people who
felt the same way about the El Toro airport. So much so that they voted
for it twice.
So now we’re back to the double-or-nothing theory. If we flip the coin
again, maybe it will come up heads for us, especially since you couldn’t
possibly raise that kind of money again.
While we consider that possibility, I would like you to ponder a question
that puzzles me very much. Why would you expect us to crawl into bed with
you in your Great Park when you stiffed two opportunities to do the same
thing with us after earlier elections?
All of this may suggest that I’m a bad sport and a rotten loser, which is
probably true. But I’m afraid I’m going to pass on your offer right now.
Thanks again, though, for asking -- and please give my best to Christina
and Larry and whatever P.R. consultant thought this was a good idea.
Sincerely,
Joe Bell
* JOSEPH N. BELL is a resident of Santa Ana Heights. His column appears
Thursdays.
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