Irrelevant week: Green has truly arrived

Richard Dunn

NEWPORT BEACH - As fans in Los Angeles cheered and screamed at

Staples Center Monday night, the world’s largest celebration of the

underdog took place about an hour away at the Newport Dunes.

Mr. Irrelevant XXV, Northwestern State (La.) defensive back Mike Green,

showed up via whale for the Arrival Party and ultimate shower of gifts to

kick off the silver anniversary edition of Irrelevant Week, the weeklong

madcap Newport Beach tradition honoring the last man picked in the NFL

draft.

Green, selected 254th and absolutely dead last by the Chicago Bears,

docked at the Newport Dunes after riding on top of the resort’s famous

whale, which was powered by a connecting boat.

“A little kid over there asked if I was going to put (the whale) back,”

the affable Green quipped.

Eight former Mr. Irrelevant honorees, invited to help celebrate the

event’s 25th year while creating a feeling of reunion among the IW

faithful, arrived ahead of Green in a large catamaran.

Prior to their arrival, divers in the water held up a “Welcome Mr.

Irrelevant” banner, while “Baywatch” look-a-likes waited in the sand

wearing Newport Beach lifeguard T-shirts -- just in case Mr. Irrelevant

XXV fell off the whale.

And that was just the beginning.

Irrelevant Week, the NFL’s only presence in Los Angeles or Orange

counties, started with a rather relevant bang as Green was showered with

myriad gifts, including a Palm Pilot and, among the gags, a red Stater

Bros. uniform, so Mr. Irrelevant can stock shelves if he doesn’t make the

NFL. The ultimate underdog, quarterback Kurt Warner of the Rams, once did

that before becoming a Super Bowl MVP.

For the record, Green said he has never used a Palm Pilot, but is now

willing to learn.

For the first time in IW history, every NFL team contributed something to

the shower of gifts.

Donned with caps and T-shirts, golf shirts and football jerseys, Green’s

“shower” was also highlighted by an “expensive” sports watch, according

to IW founder Paul Salata, a gift donated by Mary Barr of Charles H. Barr

Jewelers.

Tyrone McGriff (1980), Kevin Scanlon (‘81), Matt Elliott (‘92), Marty

Moore (‘94), Sam Manuel (‘96), Ronnie McAda (‘97) and Jim Finn (‘99) were

the eight former Irrelevant Week honorees in attendance Monday.

During the so-called press conference, Green was asked by emcee Tom

Johnson if he was planning “to hold out” for a bigger contract. It

brought the house down.

Throughout the conference and subsequent shower of gifts, Green was

seated atop a lifeguard chair on a tower eight feet high.

As with all Mr. Irrelevant honorees, Green was asked by event

coordinators if he had any special requests during Irrelevant Week.

Two years ago, Weber State tight end Cam Quayle wanted to jet ski in the

Pacific Ocean, so IW officials set it up and some of Quayle’s buddies

drove down from Utah with skis in tow.

Four years ago, New Mexico State linebacker Manuel wanted to learn how to

surf, and by the time Irrelevant Week XXI was over, Manuel was getting up

on his board and riding some Newport waves.

But Green’s request was a little more difficult to conquer: Laker tickets

to Game 6 of the NBA Finals at Staples Center against Indiana.

“We were told that we had an appointment already planned (for Monday

night),” Green said, referring to the scheduled-in-advance IW Arrival

Party. “That’s OK. We’ll just record (Game 6) and see it afterward.”

Green has been a Laker fan since Showtime in the ‘80s with Magic Johnson.

Unlike past Mr. Irrelevant honorees, Green’s entourage this week is

small: The only person to accompany him from Cajun Country is his

girlfriend, Shala Hunter, a health and exercise science major at

Northwestern State.

Green, who has been clocked in the 40-yard dash in 4.41, was a two-time

All-American free safety for the Demons and played key roles in four

conference championship teams at Northwestern State -- two in football

(1997 and ‘98) and two in track and field (’98 indoor and ’99 outdoor).

After Green anchored the Demons’ conference-winning 1,600-meter relay to

clinch the team’s outdoor title last year, Northwestern State track coach

Leon Johnson said: “I picked the right guy to run the anchor leg. We have

faster 400-meter runners, but we don’t have anybody who could compete

better than Michael Green.”

After Green’s sophomore football season in 1997, he had to switch jersey

numbers from No. 12 to No. 5, because the school retired Bobby Hebert’s

No. 12.

Hebert is one of several former pro football players from Northwestern

State, a list that includes Jackie Smith, Mark Duper, Joe Delaney, Gary

Reasons, Charlie Hennigan, Charlie Tolar and John Stephens.

Will Mr. Irrelevant XXV be next to crack the NFL?

The zany celebration continues today with a day at Disneyland, then the

All-Star Sports Banquet and Lowsman Trophy presentation Wednesday at the

Newport Beach Marriott.