Letter of the Week

I want to compliment Tony Altobelli for his recent articles in the

Daily Pilot on the sorry state of affairs pertaining to sportsmanship,

etc. in youth baseball.

But it’s not just baseball that needs attitudinal adjustments to be

made by many parents and coaches; it’s youth sports programs in general.

I’ve been an athlete, a coach and employed in municipal recreation for

over 25 years. I’ve seen and heard things screamed at kids from the

sidelines by parents and coaches that have amazed me.

From the youth arena to the world of professional sports it is too

often reinforced today that the sole purpose for playing a game or sport

is the end result, that is, to win or lose.

The outcome has become more important than the playing of the game

itself. Think I’m wrong? What’s the first question usually asked a child

upon returning from a sport they’ve just participated in? I’ll bet 10-1

it’s “Did you win?”

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the problems with this attitude are

too numerous to mention, and the negative by-products of this win/lose

mentality are evident everywhere in sports. The phrase “it’s not whether

you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” has been replaced by “if you

don’t win the game it’s not worth playing.”

This win/lose mentality completely fails to take into account one of

the primary purposes for playing any game or sport. We should play simply

for the sheer fun and joy of it.

Winning has become so important that we often lose sight of everything

else. Just listen to the adults at any youth sports event on any

playground across America. I’m often surprised the kids can play at all

over the din created by the parents and coaches screaming at them from

the sidelines. When I attend these events, I constantly have to stifle

the urge to ask parents and coaches to stop yelling and just let the kids

play.

The focus of youth sports, particularly for young children, should be

on having fun while learning the basic skills and rules of the game amid

an environment of healthy competition. It’s not the competition aspect

that is bad, quite the contrary. Competition can be healthy and is a part

of every game/sport we play. Competition is an important part of life and

helps us to improve and be better at whatever it is we’re doing.

But many children are often taught the exaggerated importance of

competition, which is to be the best and to win at all cost. Being the

best and winning becomes more important than doing your best, playing

fair, and having fun.

The pressure brought on by the win/lose mentality puts a lot of stress

on children and can create intense performance anxiety.

Simply put, they’re so scared they won’t do well, they have no fun

while actually playing, and ultimately they quit the sport.

Frequent studies and journal articles, including one conducted by the

California Parks and Recreation Society, identify three of the top-10

reasons children quit sports is because:

* It wasn’t fun

* There was too much pressure (worry)

* There was an over-emphasis on winning

How would I address this issue you might ask?

I don’t know. In my opinion it’s such a societal issue, so deeply

rooted in the American psyche, that it’ll be hard to change. But here

are a few suggestions:

First, make all parents and coaches sign a sportsmanship contract at

the beginning of each season. Educating parents, as well as children, on

the type of behavior that is acceptable and that which is unacceptable at

youth sporting events should be a priority for all youth sports programs

and leagues. Good sportsmanship, like bad sportsmanship, is taught; it

doesn’t just happen.

Second, it seems everyone has video camcorders at youth sporting

events these days. Videotape your favorite out-of-control parent or coach

when they’re screaming at the referee for missing a call, or lambasting

their child for making, heaven forbid, an error on the playing field.

Then show the offending adult the video. A picture is worth a thousand

words. My guess is they’ll have an eye-opening experience when they see

themselves acting so foolishly.

An NBC news program did a show on this topic a few years ago and tried

this. Parents guilty of poor behavior were often embarrassed after seeing

themselves on tape, and they vowed to change. Admitting you have a

problem is the first step toward correcting the problem.

I’m not saying these things will work. I’m not implying they’re the

only things that will work. And yes, we all need to remember most coaches

and parents are great and that the few spoil it for the many. But

clearly, something needs to be done. At least we’ve admitted we have a

problem.

RICHARD BRUNETTE

Costa Mesa

* Editor’s note: Brunette is the recreation supervisor for the city of

Costa Mesa and the director of “Child’s Play” Games and Trainings.