Reel Critics

‘Cheerleader’ dragged down by screenplay

Natasha Lyonne (“Slums of Beverly Hills,” “Everybody Says I Love You”)

stars as Megan in “But I’m A Cheerleader,”the new satire by Jamie Babbit

written by Brian Wayne Peterson.

Megan, in spite of her all-American appearance, likes tofu, listens to

Janis Ian/Melissa Etheridge, has a fascination with Georgia O’Keeffe

bedspreads and does not like kissing boys.

Her concerned friends and family stage an intervention because

everyone but Megan knows that she is spiraling down into that abyss known

as homosexuality.

Megan is thunderstruck; she never considered herself a lesbian. But

thanks to the fine efforts of deprogrammers at True Directions, Megan can

be saved.

Everyday heroes like Mary Brown (Cathy Moriarty) and Mike (RuPaul

Charles) arrange to have girls like Megan and Graham (Clea Duvall, “Girl

Interrupted”) relearn all the feminine qualities, i.e. vacuuming,

miscellaneous household duties and every June Cleaver conceit imaginable.

Life at True Directions resembles a gulag. Compulsory meetings are

based on one 12-step program after another in which the girls are taught

to recognize and conquer their “addictions.”

But life at True Directions is not always what it seems. Why is Mrs.

Brown’s son living with a gardener who could certainly double as a

Chippendale dancer? Why is the staff more concerned with

homo/heteroeroticism more than the “patients?”

The cast try their best with the limited and relentless screenplay.

Moriarty as the head mistress of True Directions definitely has a second

career if she decides to became a drill instructor. Her comedic timing is

priceless.

The main complaint with the screenplay is how many times should a film

outline its agenda without dumbing down to the audience?

The film resembles a great John Waters film, even though it is only

marginal in its comedic abilities and social satire. (In fact, Waters’

regular, the great “Mink Stole,” even makes an appearance.) If this

material had been in the hand of Waters, the comedic and social

possibilities would have been endless.

Consequently, the film suffers from an amateurish feel, awkward yet

heartfelt at the same time. But the best intentions cannot save this film

from its obvious shortcomings.

ROB OROZCO, 30, is an attorney who lives in Newport Beach with his

wife and two cats.

Pfeiffer, Ford sparkle in ‘What Lies Beneath’

“What Lies Beneath” has a little bit of everything. It is a ghost

story, a mystery, a psychological thriller, a romance and a drama.

Despite the fact that it is not a comedy, it has a couple of light

touches that are funny enough to laugh at out loud.

The characters are eminently believable, and the direction is

masterful. It does take you back to Hitchcock, however, who was a master

at weaving a story line from subplots and red herrings.

Robert Zemeckis does a superb job of rationing this tale in just the

right proportions to keep you hooked. But the peripherals, subplots and

red herrings may be somewhat distracting, like listening to someone

telling a story who is being constantly interrupted.

Hitchcock’s films involved only one primary story line and layers and

layers of other happenings radiating out from the characters, which made

you wonder how he would connect all of them. On the other hand, he had so

much fun with the suspense angle that you do found yourself fully

involved and coaching the character because you had been there before.

I doubt very much that this would have worked with lesser talents than

Michelle Pfeiffer, Harrison Ford and Robert Zemeckis.

Claire Spencer (Pfeiffer) is strong and caring -- the good mother,

wife and neighbor who does everything right but is a little confused as

to why people seem to be solicitous of her health or mental stability.

After all, it was just a car accident a year ago, and she is fully

recovered. A former successful musician, she gave it all up to be the

perfect wife.

Norman Spencer (Ford) on the other hand, is strong, seemingly has a

good sense of himself, is a successful geneticist and a loving father and

husband. His father, for whom he is often mistaken, was an overachiever,

as is Norman.

There also is a spiffy portrayal by Diana Scarwid of Claire’s best

friend, Jody, who does much more with her scenes than the lines she was

given.

The ghost in this ghost story is a young blond female whom Claire does

not know, nor can she figure out why she is the object of her attention.

At this point in her life, Claire begins to doubt her sanity. She is left

a message in the steamy bathroom mirror that says, “You know.”

This aspect of the story is not at all overdone and provides some

good, suspenseful moments all without the use of high-tech illusion. The

total dependence upon the characterizations by Pfeiffer and Ford serves

to showcase their talents, which are considerable.

This is certainly worth the price of admission, and though it is not a

complicated story, it appears to be.JOAN ANDRE, “over 65,” is Newport

Beach resident who does a lot of volunteer work.*

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Reel Critics column features movie critiques

written by community members serving on our panel.