What’s Up

STEVE SMITH

Go ahead and call People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; I’m

making this declaration just the same: I hate skunks.

We’ve lived in the same house for 13 years. When we moved in, our

nightly visitors were opossums that crawled almost silently over the

backyard fence, never bothering anyone as they went about doing whatever

it is that opossums do. They hung around for several years until raccoons

replaced them.

The “racs” are nice to look at, but man do they wreak havoc on the

yard. The nice part about racs is that once they’re gone, they’re gone --

unlike our visitors, the skunks, which insist on leaving a calling card.

The odor is so foul we have to tightly close the doors and windows for

hours, until it’s gone.

The stench comes out of nowhere, and I’m convinced that it can easily

travel great distances. A spraying skunk in Corona del Mar is often

smelled up here on Goat Hill.

I’ve often wondered why our military experts haven’t used the

offensive power of the skunk’s scent to battle our enemies. There is no

doubt the odor will permeate any gas mask available and send folks

running.

We still get a few raccoons, but it seems they are dwindling in favor

of the skunks. We know of at least two people in our neighborhood who are

trapping skunks. Very early one morning, I saw a fellow walking toward

the park with a skunk in a cage. He had trapped the critter and was going

to release it down the street, but he was already resigned to defeat.

“I know he’ll come back,” he said. “But what else can I do?”

The alternative is to call the Animal Control Department, which will

euthanize the skunks, but that seems to be too much for my neighbor to

handle. Take my skunks ... please!

***

So, the muckety-mucks here in Costa Mesa will possibly pave trails at

Fairview Park. Ordinarily, I’d be up in arms. But it so happens that the

city has just finished paving my nomination for the “pothole capitol of

the world” -- the stretch of 18th Street between Newport Boulevard and

Placentia Avenue. With any leftover asphalt, they can pave Fairview. But

just one trail, thank you. The park doesn’t need any more of our “help,”

honest. And I would guess many of those who are voting for the

development of the park are not regular visitors there. Were they more

familiar, they’d have seen the cyclists on BMX trails, model-plane

aficionados, runners, walkers and Disneyland fireworks gazers enjoying

Fairview Park just the way it is.

***

I couldn’t help but notice that a local day-care center’s staffers

made the Daily Pilot spotlight with their use of cameras to show

relatives what was happening to the kids in their charge. The story

mentioned the benefit to grandparents who live far away; and for that

purpose, I think it’s a great idea. Then I read that parents could also

check up on their kids, and that’s when I got goose bumps. Whatever

happened to parents staying home with their kids so they can check on

them by asking them what they’re up to?

***

I missed Charo at the fair two days ago. I spent the evening working

on a magazine I am editing and never made it. Had I gone, I would have

taken my collection of Tweety Bird dolls, which I won at the pingpong

ball toss during our two previous visits. Another ball in a red bowl, and

I may have qualified for the jumbo-size prize.

The inspiration to return to the fair with previously won toys came

after I saw a man walking through the gate while on our second visit. In

his arms he had one small Tweety and one medium (Don’t ask me how I know

the sizes -- it has cost me a bloody fortune to become such an expert).

As he made his way in, I commented on what a great idea that was. OK, so

I’m a little slow on the uptake on some of these things.

If you haven’t been to the fair and have been telling yourself you’ll

get around to it, you’re at the end of the line. The fair closes Sunday

night and the exhibitors will move on. If you haven’t been to the Orange

County Fair, don’t blow it; it’s magical and will transform even the

worst day into a wonderful memory.

Yes, the food is great, the rides are thrilling, the animals are cute

and the games are fun; but there is one special reason I like the fair:

I’ve never seen a skunk inside.