GAY GEISER-SANDOVAL -- Educationally speaking

The anxiety was building as the date loomed. I should have been happy

to know that she was going to a better place; some might call it heaven

on earth.

Instead, it seemed almost like a prison sentence. For the first time

in more than 18 years, we would be physically parted for weeks on end.

More than just the physical separation, I knew that we would travel

separate paths from now on.

We will chat by e-mail or phone about her newfound friends, her

teachers and activities. But I won’t get to meet them, talk to them or

see her interact with them. I won’t be there to witness her sing, or act

or play sports. I won’t see the agony she goes through each morning to

determine if her butt looks too big in her chosen outfit.

Unlike some of her friends, who seemed to wait until the last minute

to figure out what to take and how to take it, her bedroom had been the

staging area for two weeks. Each day, the list of what she to take had

more check marks as the items were labeled and packed.

We knew we were at Ground Zero when every motel in town had a van

packed to the gills, accessorized with a bicycle. This being a school of

overachievers, the freshmen were lined up at 7:30 a.m., a half-hour

before check-in started.

Family members worked like teams on maneuvers. One was assigned to

stay in line, while others began moving bags and boxes toward the

building. The girls required at least twice as much stuff as the boys,

but were able to fit it all in their rooms. By noon, most rooms had the

furniture rearranged and the junk stowed.

At that time, parents heard about reassuring their children that the

school really did pick them to be there, and it wasn’t some mistake. As

we talked with parents about their sons’ and daughters’ accomplishments,

I was beginning to wonder.

The students at the school had garnered more Olympic medals this year

than 80% of the countries. Our hometown big fish had just landed in an

incredible ocean. Now I understood why a world-renowned doctor and

professor would want to raise his family in a house attached to their

dorm. That much intellectual energy has got to draw young kids into the

love of learning.

As with everything about the day, the time to say goodbye was

designated. I had tried to think of something profound or special to say

or do. But, every time I tried to speak, I could feel the tears trying to

spew a flash flood down my face.

So we ended in a group hug with the words “with independence comes

responsibility.” She said she was ready for the independence, but she

wasn’t so sure about the responsibility.

Then the kids were off to their dinner and the parents were off to a

parents’ dinner. Our table had moms and dads from all over the country

who were brimming with excitement for their kids.

No one seemed melancholy. No one looked like her heart had been

wrenched out. No one seemed to think that this day would stand out in

their memory forever, like when John F. Kennedy was shot or the Vietnam

War ended.

I decided I must be the biggest sissy of all. It was like I had just

been to a funeral, while they had been to a wedding. Only later did I

find out that those parents didn’t stick to the schedule. They were back

the next day and the next. They couldn’t face it any better than I.

Parting is such sweet sorrow that I can’t wait until the ‘morrow. Or,

in my case, Thanksgiving.

* GAY GEISER-SANDOVAL is a Costa Mesa resident. Her column runs

Tuesdays. She can be reached by e-mail at o7 GGSesq@aol.comf7 .