RETAIL ROUNDUP

Whew! We were planning on going to the tres snazzy lunch at Troquet on

Wednesday to celebrate the opening of the new Louis Vuitton store in

South Coast Plaza. But trying to follow the cliffhanger election had us

more wiped out than an Arizona tourist trying to tackle a big day at The

Wedge.

So no Louis Vuitton preview for us, and no free lunch. But for the

rest of you, the store means the opportunity to spend more money on

fashionable accessories.

Perhaps, when this whole election hubbub dies down, we should

celebrate by buying a few new handbags.

AGNES B GOOD

There’s also some sort of event at South Coast Plaza on Friday marking

the debut of a new Agnes B store there.

That’s the sort of thing we like to imagine we will be attending. But

of course the reality is that we never make it out to these events, no

matter how chic the crowd might potentially be -- and no matter what sort

of goodies we might potentially acquire from attending.

Really, the only thing that works for us, indolent and slug-like as we

are, is an attractive press packet placed squarely in our lap.

AND ON THAT NOTE ...

That reminds us of a certain pie-shaped package we received from the

beautiful people at the Betty Crocker corporation.

The box, which looks remarkably like an eighteen inch cardboard

version of a piece of cheesecake, was nothing but an elaborate container

for a box of some new Betty Crocker cake mix.

Was it good mix, at least? We have no idea, because we really don’t

have time to cook and we also don’t own the appropriate size baking dish.

But wow! What a press kit! We are in awe of the marketing minds that

came up with such a lavish and excessive way of trying to sell flour in a

box.

KICK IT UP A NOTCH!

We also got something from that kooky television chef Emeril Lagasse:

a press release announcing the debut of a whole line of spices and salad

dressings.

Also included in the package was a jar of that spice he calls

“essence” -- the stuff that you’re supposed to put all over your food

while shouting “Bam!”

Emeril doesn’t really float our culinary boat, but we noticed that

somebody else in the office scurried away with the “essence” almost

immediately.

Make of that what you will. We’re too busy watching CNN to come up

with a joke about it.