STEVE SMITH -- What’s Up

A year ago I wrote about “Criswell,” the flamboyant prognosticator who

was not afraid to stick his neck out. Criswell’s annual New Year’s Eve

appearances on the “Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” caused a lot of

controversy, not only because of his manner of dress and speech but also

because his predictions were so far out. They were rarely, if ever,

correct.

This year, the spotlight is on astrologer Jeanne Dixon, whose powers

of prediction were no more potent than Criswell’s but for one event: One

of her big forecasts came true.

In 1956, Parade magazine quoted Dixon as predicting that a Democratic

president elected in 1960, a tall young man with blue eyes and brown

hair, would die in office. Dixon told interviewers the president would be

assassinated, a comment they refused to publish. An advisor to many

famous clients, including Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Dixon rose to national

prominence for her prediction regarding John F. Kennedy. Nancy Reagan,

ridiculed by the press for her reliance on an astrologer, chose to fight

back by proclaiming Dixon had lost her powers and gave her astrology

business to Dixon rival Joan Quigley.

Dixon didn’t manage to get many more correct predictions besides the

Kennedy events, but she was still published regularly in the tabloids.

She predicted, for instance, that World War III would begin in 1958 over

the offshore Chinese islands of Quemoy and Matsu, that labor leader

Walter Reuther would run for president in 1964 and that the Soviets would

land the first man on the moon. All wrong.

For 1997, Dixon predicted actor Alec Baldwin would become terribly

ill, comedian Ellen DeGeneres would have a run-in with the Secret Service

when she crashed the presidential inauguration and a plane would crash in

late October. All wrong.

Dixon died in 1997. No, she did not correctly predict that. But, in

the spirit of Jeanne Dixon, I present my second annual predictions for

Newport Beach and Costa Mesa for 2001:

1. The Back Bay dredging will be revealed to be a secret project to

construct a moat around most of Newport Beach. Having already alienated

itself from the rest of the county and now a certified island, the city

will declare itself a sovereign nation and refuse to allow jets in its

airspace.

2. Artist Christo, the fellow who put the yellow umbrellas in Tejon

Canyon and dropped a yellow curtain across a California canyon, will

combine forces next Christmas with Trinity Broadcasting and the Balboa

Bay Club to drape the entire cities of Costa Mesa and Newport Beach in

yellow holiday lights.

3. Rock Harbor Church, seeking to relocate on the Orange County

Fairgrounds, will be denied a spot. California officials will cite

separation of church and state as the reason. Rock Harbor will protest

and, as part of the compromise, U.S. currency will be banned from the

fairgrounds until it does not contain the words, “In God We Trust.”

4. Costa Mesa Councilman Chris Steel will awaken one morning with the

ability to hear the thoughts of the Latino residents on Costa Mesa’s

Westside. A movie will be made of his adventure, which will be called

“What Decent People Want.”

5. The Pacific Amphitheater (that’s the cool venue in the fairgrounds)

will announce plans to build a roof over the location to contain the

noise to avoid disturbing the residents of neighboring College Park.

College Park residents will protest the plans, however, citing

construction noise as the reason.

6. The Cannery restaurant, still vacant, will become the marvel of

modern manufacturing and technology by transforming into a site for food

processing. It will become . . . a cannery.

7. The homeowners who are encroaching on the public land that is

Fairview Park will receive a bill for the appropriate back property

taxes. Encroachment will end faster than you can say, “Who, me?”

8. Tina New, key prosecution witness in the Eric Bechler murder trial,

will get her 15 minutes of fame as a host of a cable television talk

show, then a radio talk show on a station to which no one listens. In

October, she will pull a rubber mask off her face and reveal herself to

be Kato Kaelin.

9. The California Department of Transportation, in an effort to

encourage mass transit, will start to issue an annual award for the most

efficient transportation system in the nation. The first award will go to

the little trains that run around Fairview Park on the third weekend of

every month.

For 2001, I wish you peace, joy and good health.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer. Readers

may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (949) 642-6086.