GAY GEISER-SANDOVAL -- Educationally Speaking

As the years go by, I’ve stopped getting older.

Mirrors and photographs play a cruel hoax and depict some older person

there in place of my real body.

So, the way that I evaluate the passage of time is by my children’s

birthdays. While it is hard to acknowledge that they are getting older, I

am forced to accept it.

This year has brought myriad changes that have occurred at warp speed

to me.

My younger daughter, who will turn 16 Wednesday, has provided one

avenue by which time passed in slow motion.

She has had her learner’s permit for the last eight months. When I am

in the passenger seat and she is behind the wheel, I am a nervous wreck.

My life often passes before me, as I ponder what it will be like when

she is driving solo, without my hypersensitive eyes seeking out any hint

of danger that might befall her in the form of sport-utility vehicles

hurtling her way.

Her two driving trainers have disparate driving instructions and

philosophies. After my years of prosecuting cases of driving under the

influence and going on ride-alongs, I am always pointing out cars whose

driving actions display symptoms of being under the influence.

My 10 years sitting as a judge pro tem hearing traffic cases has

convinced me that at least some people are not observing all of the

traffic laws. My motto to her is: “Slow down! Don’t take any chances! If

someone wants to play chicken, let them win; you’ll be the one left alive

at the end.”

My husband tells her to speed up and not wait so long to turn into

traffic. With justification, he thinks most drivers are so impatient that

they will swerve around her if she waits an extra three seconds to make

sure it is safe.

Needless to say, when we are both in the car, the instructions are

usually contradictory. But, so far, she has prevailed. We’ll see how she

does Wednesday, when the examiner for the Department of Motor Vehicles

doesn’t keep up a running commentary about how to corner every turn.

Since she has to be at school at 6 a.m. for weight training, her

driver’s license will be a blessing to us.

With classes and her sport, she now gets home at 5:30 p.m.

But, she is trying out for the school musical, which means she won’t

get home until 8:30 p.m. on most nights.

I may have to calendar myself in on her organizer so I don’t forget

what she looks like.

My older daughter, who is now away at college, will be celebrating her

birthday without us, for the first time. Someone else’s mom, who lives

close to campus, has offered to make her a cake.

I’m sure her a cappella group will take care of the singing. In high

school, she always had finals to take on her birthday, so it isn’t as if

we did much special for her birthday when she was at home.

But her birth date reminds me just how mature and independent she has

become. For the first time in her life, she is making all of her own

decisions; what to study, where to go, who to hang out with, when to come

back to her dorm room at night, what to eat, how to budget her time and

money.

A few years back, she told me she was the only kid in kindergarten

that had a house key.

She could walk home from the bus stop and let herself in if she had

to. I told her my job, as her mother, was to make her self-reliant and

independent.

As she celebrates her 19th birthday, I think that part of my “mom” job

description is finished.

Happy birthday, my little chickadees!

* GAY GEISER-SANDOVAL is a Costa Mesa resident. Her column runs

Tuesdays. She can be reached by e-mail at GGSesq@aol.com.