CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON -- The Moral of the Story

“Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.”

-- Phyllis Theroux

Like all parents I know, I’ve tried to be the best, give the best and

do the best I possibly can for my children. From the moment I felt the

first flutter of a foot kicking in my bulging belly, I knew that I would

give my life for my child without a moment’s hesitation. Any mother

reading this knows exactly what I mean.

Coming from that vantage point then, it has been hard to accept and

admit that I have made my share of mistakes. But the truth is that I have

often tripped along the path of motherhood, just as I have the path of

adulthood. I don’t think I am alone in this.

Last year, I spoke to a group of women about the incredible value of

motherhood and mentioned that every mother occasionally feels like she is

the worst mother in the world. No matter how much we love our children,

we will make mistakes.

As I shared a few of my stories, their eyes lit up. They had the same

expression of relief that I saw when I met the wife of our daughters’

college pastor. She’d recently had her first child.

“I just love both of your girls,” the wife said. “They’re such godly

young women and such encouragement to me as I think of raising our little

girl.”

“Thank you,” I answered. “Jon and I often wonder why God blessed us

with two such amazing daughters, but we sure are thankful.”

“Well, you must have done something right. Your daughters have told me

a lot about you, and it’s really blessed me,” she added.

“You’ve made my day,” I said.

She smiled and said, “Yes, it was so great to hear about some of your

mistakes.”

I was a bit surprised at first, but then I realized what she was

talking about. I laughed and said, “Feel free to learn from my mistakes.

Maybe I’ll spare you some. Parenting is challenging and we need to help

each other.”

“It gave me hope to see how well your daughters turned out even though

you blew it sometimes,” she said.

“Unfortunately making mistakes is part of being human,” I replied.

“I’ve found that the quicker I admit them and ask God to help, the better

off everybody is.”

Fortunately none of my blunders have been too serious. Once I heated

Kelly’s baby food a little too much, and accidentally burnt her tongue.

It hurt to watch her in pain that I had unintentionally caused.

Another time I took Amy to the doctor because her middle finger was

puffy. She was an avid crawler trying to become a walker and took many

tumbles. The doctor X-rayed it and said it was broken. I was devastated

and embarrassed.

“Is it common for a mother not to know a child broke her finger?” I

asked sheepishly.

“Not really,” came the curt reply.

Whenever I share my foibles, I hear plenty in return. When someone is

vulnerable, others feel comfortable being so as well.

There’s no question that we will all make mistakes in our lives. The

question is really what we are going to do about them.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at o7

cindy@onthegrow.comf7 or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.