CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON -- The Moral of the Story

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious

learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the

work of childhood.”

-- Fred Rogers

“Mommy, look at our legs. They can’t go any faster,” my daughter Kelly

said to me when she was 4 years old.

I looked down at her and her little sister Amy’s cute little legs and

then at Kelly’s cute but concerned-looking, face. Amy looked at Kelly

and then at me with a similar expression.

I stopped and said, “You’re right honey. I’m sorry, we’ll walk

slower.”

We were running errands, but we weren’t pressed for time. It was just

that I had an unrealistic amount of stuff I wanted to accomplish with two

preschoolers.

We went to the market. Amy sat in the cart and Kelly helped me load

our groceries. As we left the store, both girls ran ahead, singing and

skipping toward the frozen yogurt store. They weren’t doing anything

wrong, they were just louder than I wanted.

I said, “Girls, please slow down and quiet down a bit.”

Kelly stopped first. Amy practically ran into her before stopping

next. They both looked at me, and Kelly said, “Mommy, I wish you could

make up your mind. I don’t know when to hurry up and when to slow up.”

“Yeah, me too,” Amy chimed in.

Kelly wasn’t rude. She was honestly confused, and she had a good

point.

I thought about the different times that day when I’d told them to

pick up the pace, only to tell them to slow down moments later. My

mistake was forgetting that children are not miniature adults. They need

to be allowed to act their ages.

I apologized to them and asked God to help me let them grow at the

rate he intended.

The three of us enjoyed frozen yogurt, and after we unloaded our

groceries, we went to the park. We played on the swings and laughed while

playing “Follow the Leader.”

The next day I bought a fabulous book called “The Hurried Child,” by

David Elkind. He has since written other books, as have many authors,

about the importance of not rushing children through childhood.

The premise of the books is that we need to make conscious efforts to

not rush children out of essential and unrepeatable childhood

experiences. Just as we can’t force a little rosebud to blossom before

its time without damage, we can’t expect our little people to be mature

before their time.

Childhood is a progression of stages that cannot be hurried. I’d

caught a touch of what some books refer to as “hurry disease.”

The books made such a profound impact on me that I began speaking on

the subject. I knew I wasn’t alone when one mother said, “I’m already

hurrying, and my baby isn’t even talking yet. I’m afraid her first word

will be ‘errands.’ ”

I still speak on the subject, because I think the “hurrying disease”

is more contagious now than ever. I’ll share more later about how to

avoid catching it, but meanwhile, no matter what age we are, we could all

benefit from learning from our little ones.

Let’s add to our to-do list: “Be sure to play today.”

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at o7

cindy@onthegrow.comf7 or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.