BYRON DE ARAKAL -- Between the Lines

While poking around the drag-on saga of the 39 families residing in

the beachfront shanties of Crystal Cove -- you’ll recall that they are

scrambling to again stiff arm the California Department of Parks and

Recreation’s latest eviction sortie -- I thought of Marvin K. Mooney.

Marvin K., as most parents know, is that mulish purple-suited whatever

cooked up by the brilliant Dr. Seuss in his classic “Marvin K. Mooney,

Will You Please Go Now?”

Catching the hint that it was time to go wasn’t one of Marvin K.’s

strong suits. For 28 pages, Seuss badgered Marvin with his lyrical prose

before Marvin K. finally “got up and went.”

On five occasions over the last 18 years, the California Department of

Parks and Recreation -- which purchased Crystal Cove in 1979 from the

Irvine family for $32.6 million -- has either politely asked the cove’s

denizens or demanded by order of eviction that they vacate their beloved

1920s beach cottages. And up until now, they have not only refused,

they’ve staved off eviction by either finding a judge who agrees they

should stay or by portraying the state’s parks department as a

hardhearted, mean-spirited landlord.

All of which is why I’ve taken to calling these folks the Marvin K.

Mooneys of Crystal Cove. And having branded them as such, it really is

time for them to go.

In Seuss’ tale, we’re never quite sure why Marvin K. is so hellbent on

sticking around. But that’s not the case here. The cove dwellers aren’t

wanting for a reason to stay. Over the years, they’ve trotted out plenty

of them. Some take aim at our emotions, claiming that it would be wrong

to rip families from the cove who have raised generations there. Others

shamelessly, but honestly, admit that there is scarcely another spot on

the face of the planet where you can rent a charming cottage smack on a

postcard shoreline for a paltry $800 to $1,400 a month.

These are pleas that haven’t stirred much sympathy from California

taxpayers. The thinking here is that the state didn’t spend $32 million

so 39 families could live the good life on one of California’s most

pristine and expensive pieces of oceanfront real estate for rent that

barely fetches a one-bedroom apartment in Stanton.

Al Willinger, an occasional cove resident and spokesman for the

Crystal Cove Residents Assn., says it is important that the current crop

of cove dwellers stay to protect and preserve the historic treasures that

the cove and its cottages represent.

Protect them from what?

Until recently, the alleged threat to the cove was one Michael Freed,

a San Francisco developer who had quietly negotiated a 60-year lease with

the state in 1997 to transform the cottages and the cove into a

$375-a-night playground for the rich and famous. But that plan is

apparently dead, torpedoed by the din of outrage from folks such as Joan

Irvine Smith, the Sierra Club and Laura Davick of the Alliance to Rescue

Crystal Cove. The California Coastal Conservancy is expected to drive the

final nail in the coffin of the resort plan at its March 22 meeting.

But that’s not good enough for the Marvin K. Mooneys of Crystal Cove.

Faced with a standing eviction notice that demands they vacate by March

15 (since moved to April 1 by the softies in the parks department),

residents of the cove have filed suit to block their ouster. They fear

the state will allow these valuable historic treasures to decay into

driftwood should they vacate them. They’ll not leave, they insist, until

the California parks people cobble together an acceptable plan for the

cove’s preservation.

This latest strategy to position cove residents as live-in docents of

a national historic treasure doesn’t sound unreasonable. But when you

factor in that it probably will take the plodding machinery of state

government years to cobble together a preservation plan -- and who knows

how much longer to build consensus -- it’s clear the cove’s Marvin K.’s

are fixing to hang around for a while.

Here’s the real problem and the chief reason why it’s time for them to

go:

Back in November, the Santa Ana Regional Water Quality Control Board

slapped a citation on the Parks and Recreation Department. In its cease

and desist order, the board found “direct [waste water] discharges to the

ASBS [Area of Special Biological Significance] from State Parks’

facilities.” This runoff, states the order, includes septic tank and

subsurface disposal system discharges from bungalows in the “historic

district” of Crystal Cove State Park.

When the water quality control board issued its order, it gave the

state six months to develop a plan to safeguard against the discharge or

“threat” of discharge of waste water in and around Crystal Cove, and two

years to implement the plan. Failure to act will give water quality

control board’s executive director, Gerard Thibeault, the authority to

“file a complaint assessing administrative civil liability or to request

that the attorney general pursue judicial enforcement action against the

[parks department], including an injunction and civil monetary

penalties.”

That the septic tanks serving the Crystal Cove cottages have been

identified as potential discharge threats mandates that the parks

department closely examine them to determine if they’re leaking. And the

only way to do that, says parks spokesman Roy Stearns, is to dig them up.

Taking that course means the Marvin K. Mooneys of Crystal Cove will

have to go.

* BYRON DE ARAKAL is a writer and communications consultant. He lives

in Costa Mesa. His column runs Wednesdays. Readers may reach him with

news tips and comments via e-mail at byronwriter@msn.com.