Golf: Getting no respect

Richard Dunn

NEWPORT BEACH - It was one of those tough, twist-my-arm

assignments. Show up at Strawberry Farms Golf Club at about 7:30 a.m. for

the Georgia-Pacific Super Seniors Pro-Am.

Our low-handicap publisher, Tom Johnson, came up with neck and back

injuries and wanted me to replace him at the 11th hour in the pro-am

field.

And, as it turned out, the weather was perfect. For good measure, our

team with Super Senior pro Harold Henning finished second, after a

three-way tie for first place and ensuing card-off.

What luck. Anyone who knows my golf game ... well, we won’t go there.

But Jake Rohrer, co-chairman of the Toshiba Senior Classic, demanded an

audit of Thursday’s Super Seniors Pro-Am scorecards after hearing that

yours truly finished anywhere near the winner’s circle.

Who said golf isn’t a team game? Hey, in a pro-am, anything can

happen. Thursday was proof. Thanks to Henning and amateur Chris

Santangelo, a 40-year-old former mini-tour player who made seven birdies.

It was unbelievable.

As a team, we shot 51 and tied with two other groups (Team Dale

Douglass won the card-off).

Early in the morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, the inevitable

happened when Henning began to inspect my driver, which, of course, isn’t

the titanium mail box he has on the end of his driver, but for me it gets

the job done.

“My wife bought it for me at silent auction,” I told Henning proudly.

“Well, your club certainly dictates silence,” Henning quipped in his

South African accent, assuring me not to show him any more of my golf

clubs.

When I asked him how many times he has changed drivers in his career,

Henning said “hundreds of times ... they’re like girlfriends, you’ve got

to try them all out.”

Henning, who twice won the Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf (in 1989 and

‘93), was an excellent pro to play with. He was loose and funny,

informative and insightful. Told us our main duty was to have fun.

Upon leaving the practice range, Henning joked: “They’re really taking

good care of us today. They even had new balls on the range. I put six in

my bag.”

When asked to rank his all-time greatest victory, Henning said “any

tournament with the biggest paycheck.”

Once we teed off, are team started smoking with birdies everywhere,

with no help from you know who.

In fact, I lost golf balls on the first three holes. Great start. My

drives either landed in the deep forest or in the water. Luckily, it was

a Texas Scramble, where you played the group’s best tee shot and your own

ball the rest of the way in.

“This club looks like something a 23-handicapper would use,” Henning

said as he pulled a Sam Snead 8-iron out of my bag.

After losing a fourth golf ball (also in the water) on only our fifth

hole of play, Henning’s caddie, Paul Blanks, yelped: “When everyone else

gets golf clubs for Christmas, he gets a wetsuit.”

OK, OK. I can take it. But Strawberry Farms, mind you, isn’t exactly

forgiving on the back nine, where most of the holes are along the edge of

a large reservoir.

“There’s not a lot of margin for error here (off the tees),” Henning

said. “You either hit it in the fairway or lose your ball.”

Soon it was back to reality at Newport Beach Country Club for the

Toshiba Senior Classic Pro-Am, but, at least for one morning, it was fun

to be treated like a pro and actually write birdies on a scorecard.

A duffer like me ending up as a replacement player and coming away

with second-place spoils. Still hard to believe.