At long last....a PERK!

Tony Altobelli

I always find it rather amusing when people find out what I do for

a living and ask me, “Boy, it must be nice to be able to go to all the

big sporting events for free all the time.”

My response is always the same. “Oh yeah. All the CIF, Orange Coast

College and Vanguard University athletics I can handle in one lifetime.

Care for my autograph?”

Well finally, after nearly two years of loyal Daily Pilot service, I

finally got to live the good life for four glorious days. I was asked to

conribute my services to the Toshiba Senior Classic this past weekend.

With the tournament now just a memory, I was able to file a few little

tidbits and (somewhat) funny experiences over my four days at the Newport

Beach Country Club.

For example, I learned that weather people are more full of more

misinformation than Don King at a confessional. First, it was going to

rain all weekend, then just Saturday night and Sunday, then Sunday, then

blah blah blah.

They were about as useful to the tournament as football cleats are to

a putting green.

Switching gears, it was a big thrill being able to chat with real-life

professional golfers. My biggest interview until last week were coaches

Brian Freeman and Len Moskovits after the Newport Beach Little League AAA

All-Star team won their fifth District 55 game last summer.

All of a sudden I was chatting with guys like Hale Irwin, Chi Chi

Rodriguez, Dr. Gil Morgan, Raymond Floyd and so on. I’m sure it was just

as big a thrill for them as well.

“The Daily Planet?” Irwin asked me when I told him of where I worked.

“Shouldn’t you have a big ‘S’ on your shirt?”

Good one, Hale. Like I never heard that one before.

Super Senior Harold Henning, after reaching the 17th hole during the

opening round, said, “It’s been all uphill today.” Apparently, Henning

peaked on Thursday at the Georgia-Pacific Super Seniors Pro-Am when he

jumped on the back of scratch golfer Chris Santangelo and rode his horse

to a first-place tie at Strawberry Farms.

The understatement of the week comes from Bob Gilder. Trailing by only

one shot after two rounds, I asked him about holes 5-9 and he said, “Yep,

it’s a tough stretch of holes.” Gilder proceeded to shoot par, triple

bogey, double bogey, par, double bogey (7-over-par) during that five-hole

stretch on Sunday to evaporate from the lead.

Just how un-pro is that? My last round at NBCC I duffed, hacked and

three-putted my way to five-over through that stretch. I must have had my

“A” game that day.

Best guy to talk to in terms of pure volume of quotes was 2000

champion Allen Doyle. When you’ve played eight straight rounds of sub-70

golf on a golf course for three straight years, you’re going to be in a

chatty mood about the course. Instead of the sea horse, NBCC should have

Doyle’s mug on the logo because he plays the course like he built it

himself.

Best guy to talk to in terms of sound bites has to be, of course, Chi

Chi Rodriguez. In 10 minutes I was near tears with his one-liners.

After Chi Chi was kissed by a young fan, he then turned to me and

said, “Okay, your turn.” I responed with, “Not without a court order,”

which made him laugh a little. If he thinks that was funny, I should have

taken him to the driving range and shown him my swing.

The “best imitation of a moniker” award goes to Orville Moody.

Rodriguez should have given Moody a lesson or two (or three) on how to be

chipper and jovial through a golf tournament. Four days, no smiles. I

guess a three-day total of 25-over-par keeps the cheerfulness to a

minimum.

The “not a lot to say” award goes to Morgan. Every question I asked

him, he seemed preoccupied or something. I guess I should not have tried

to interview him right after Jose Maria Canizares’ birdie putt on 18 that

forced the nine-hole playoff.

Fastest senior goes to Bob Charles. In my effort for a comment or two

on the golf course I was huffing and puffing just trying to keep up with

him on his way to the clubhouse from the scorers’ tent. His destination,

I found out later, was the bathroom. Sometimes less is more.

And finally, this year’s “dead-eye” award (literally) goes to

14-year-old Brittany Donlon, who took a Jim Ahern golf shot right below

the right eye on Sunday. Hardly phased and even smiling afterward, she

now has an autographed golf ball, a newspaper clipping and a memory of

this year’s tournament that will last much longer than her shiner will.

All in all, it was a great experience and I can’t wait for next year

as I head back to reality. Bring on track and swimming!