JOSEPH N. BELL -- The Bell Curve

Meg Waters

El Toro Reuse Planning Authority

Dear Ms. Waters:

I’m addressing this to you because you are listed in the press as the

ETRPA “spokeswoman.” I trust you will pass it along to the appropriate

parties.

I’m a resident of Santa Ana Heights. When the wind is right, a Mark

McGwire home run could reach John Wayne Airport from my patio. I’m one of

those people you once wanted to protect from further aircraft noise,

which is why I’m writing you. I detect a pronounced change of tone in

your recent mailing pieces.

Let me make sure I have this straight.

In the warm glow following the passage of the unconstitutional Measure

F awhile back, you and your associates were deeply concerned about the

well-being of people like me who live on the fringes of John Wayne

Airport. You told us that as a matter of principle, you stood firmly with

us in resisting any further expansion of John Wayne. We felt your hand

firmly on our shoulder, a former adversary joining us in the good fight.

Some of our local citizens were so taken by this friendly show of

support that they admonished us hard-liners for worrying about a knife in

the hand on our shoulder. And for seeking compromise on an El Toro

airport that might upset our new friends.

By way of protecting ourselves against the expansion of John Wayne we

asked the Orange County Board of Supervisors to join our warm new

partnership with South County in launching the environmental work

connected with extending John Wayne flight caps. And that’s when we got

the first indication that principles sometimes come with strings.

Supervisor Todd Spitzer -- presumably with your strong approval --

said that the people of his district “want a quid pro quo” for his vote

in favor of this effort. That, of course, is Latin for “back off El Toro,

baby, or you’ll get no help from us.” He didn’t mention the principle you

embraced earlier in supporting the John Wayne cap.

When Superior Court Judge James Otero declared Measure F

unconstitutional (a decision with which you personally “respectfully

disagreed”), ETRPA immediately began work on a new ballot measure that

might usefully pair airports with nuclear power plants instead of jails

next time around. We all expected something like that, of course. But we

didn’t expect a political and philosophical skirmish to escalate to

nuclear war almost overnight when Newport Beach set out to get an El Toro

airport back on track.

In a kinder, gentler time, you told us in one of your brochures that

“we don’t need another airport” and that government officials are

“systematically overstating our airport needs.” You even passed a

resolution saying that those of us living around John Wayne shouldn’t be

subjected to increased noise, traffic and pollution. That was only a year

ago. Now, you tell us in the your most recent brochure that in order to

meet the increased demand for air transportation, the caps on John Wayne

should be lifted to accommodate almost twice as many passengers.

You thoughtfully rescinded the earlier resolution before urging that

our caps be lifted, which -- it occurs to me -- would materially increase

“noise, traffic and pollution” around my patio.

This is especially confusing to me because for about six months before

you decided to nuke us, you took the high road of pushing something

called “The Great Park.” Some of your best fiction went into the Great

Park brochures, rhapsodic writing and arboreal photographs of mostly

white people gamboling on the green.

At the risk of seeming irreverent, it reminded me strongly of Linus in

the Peanuts cartoon who every Halloween sits in a pumpkin patch waiting

for the “Great Pumpkin” to arrive. It never does, of course, and I’ll let

you make your own parallel to the Great Park. You asked me -- or was it

Larry Agran? -- to return a “Great Park Community Action Sign-up Sheet,”

and I’m afraid I can’t go that route because you have now made it clear

that it will lead to more “noise, pollution and traffic” for those people

you so recently wanted to protect.

It will also lead to a great deal more taxpayer money being spent on a

public dispute in which, finally, the principal winners will be the P

people. Maybe we could avoid dealing with substance altogether by just

conducting a poll each month on which side is spending the most money.

Trouble with that is, I’m afraid my side would lose. No matter how many

millions Newport Beach pours down this drain, Irvine will top it. And the

flacks get fat.

Thank God for a little bit of humor in this brawl. The best line I’ve

read so far came from the ETRPA chairman, L. Allan Songs tad, Jr., who

told a reporter recently: “We were concerned that what we were doing

would be misconstrued, and we don’t want this to be seen as retaliation

against the city of Newport Beach.”

I’m sure you’re in touch with L. Allan, and you might tell him that

this never occurred to us, but he would be most welcome to come and sit

on my patio some summer afternoon and find out first hand against whom

his organization is retaliating.

Sincerely,

Joe Bell

* JOSEPH N. BELL is a resident of Santa Ana Heights. His column

appears Thursdays.