STEVE SMITH -- What’s up

We first noticed the assorted vans and trailers being assembled on the

corner of Fairview Road and Fair Drive about a month ago as we drove

north on Fairview.

Last week, we spotted a partially-assembled Ferris wheel sticking up

into the Costa Mesa sky like a giant Pac-Man, teasing passersby.

Yes, the fair is back. Pack up your troubles, forget your worries, the

fair is back.

For 19 years, Cay and I have been annual pass-holders to Disneyland.

We go often and have found the passes to be an exceptional entertainment

value. But as long as we’ve been pass-holders and as many times as we go

to the Magic Kingdom to ride the rides and eat the eats, we still look

very forward to the arrival of the fair.

Part of the fair’s attraction is the food. After all, there isn’t a

food court in any mall in the county that can rival the gastronomic

assortment at the Orange County Fair. Barbecued corn, funnel cakes and

10-pound buns may not be the best combination on a plate, but that’s

exactly the point. Greasy and fatty, yes, but the fair is here, then it’s

gone and you have to get it while you can. Twice. There is no better

excuse in Newport-Mesa to pig out.

And while we’re on the subject of pigs, one fair event that has eluded

us for years is the pig races. We’ve tried several times to get seats or

even a standing-room-only peek and have struck out each time. Poor

planning is the cause. This year, I plan to stake out seats well in

advance -- this is the year we watch the pig races.

This is not the year I will ride the Zipper or the Flipper or whatever

the name of the ride is that tosses and turns its riders. It’s not that

I’m getting old and can’t take it, I couldn’t take it when I was young. I

never could see the point of getting my brains scrambled and my stomach

turned inside out when there were still foods to sample.

The fair is also a favorite place to observe. Humans are always

fascinating but at the fair they take a back seat to baby chicks and the

livestock getting ready to strut their stuff for ribbons. It’s Orange

County the way it used to be, and for this city rat, it’s paradise.

Another favorite stop is the exhibition hall where the miracle

products are presented and sold. For everyone who had a million-dollar

idea, only to find a year later that someone else did more than think

about the same idea, the hall is an inspiration. The attraction is not

the products, but the inventors such as the ex-aerospace engineer who

banked his life savings on a fold-down garage workbench or the teacher

who uses her summers to promote children’s books that can be read from

behind while kids enjoy the illustrations in front.

These people are the brave ones, action people who were not content to

float through life wishing and wondering what things would be like if

they actually succeeded with their dream. For them, the worst case

scenario is standing on the sidelines, regretting years later that they

did not seize the summer when they didn’t have as much to lose.

But ultimately, the fair is about kids. Our two are now eight and 11

and are on the cusp of avoiding the kiddie ride section altogether. The

only attraction for them there is the assortment of midway games that

guarantee a prize. The rides are just too tame now.

Ah, yes, the midway games. I can’t think of any place outside of Las

Vegas where I’ve lost more money and not felt bad. My favorite is the

squirt gun contest where participants have to shoot a stream of water

into a clown’s mouth to blow up a balloon. The first one who pops their

balloon wins. My strategy is simple: Always take the place of the person

who just won if it suddenly becomes vacant. That’s because the balloon is

new and tighter and more likely to break faster. Hey, it’s my strategy --

I didn’t claim that it was logical.

But this year I am willing to forgo the midway games. I’m willing to

skip the garlic bread, the gyros and the egg rolls. This is the year, no

matter what, I’m going to the pig races.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer. Readers

may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (949) 642-6086.