REEL CRITICS

‘Corelli’s Mandolin’ leaves couple in discord

“Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” brings us to the Greek island of

Cephallonia in 1941. Life is basic. Crystal blue water and white sandy

beaches belie the looming specter of World War II. Bill: Without as many

distracting explosions as “Pearl Harbor,” this wartime love story

captures the historical content of Louis de Bernieres’ novel involving an

Italian officer and a beautiful Greek girl’s love for each other.

Director John Madden’s interpretation of fun-loving, eating and

singing Italians was first-rate. Lovers, not fighters!

This romantic war story has been told many times over the ages, and

with the gorgeous scenery and glorious music, it’s worth seeing on the

big screen.

Gay: Were we in the same theater? Agreed, the story line has been

written ad nausea. The first hour almost put me to sleep. The scenery was

beautiful, but I thought we were visiting friends, viewing their recent

trip on slides.

Here’s what I wanted to do: Lynch the casting director. Nicholas Cage

as a fun-loving musician/singing Italian officer? I don’t think so!

Biggest miscast of the ages.

And where was that Italian accent Cage touted spending months

mastering? When he played the mandolin, he looked like he was in labor.

And he must be tone deaf -- that was not singing.

Penelope Cruz didn’t sound anything like a Greek and came across more

like a dead fish. John Hurt’s excellent acting was wasted in this film,

as was the acting of Christian Bales.

I suggest you read the book with its focus on the country’s rich

history and superb literary sophistication. No actors to distract.

Bill says “Enjoy.”

Gay says “This ‘Mandolin’ is out of tune.”

“Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” is rated R for some violence, sexuality

and language.

* GAY WASSALL-KELLY, 61, is the editor of a Balboa newspaper and is

active in the community. BILL KELLY, 59, is an industrial engineer.

Nothing saves ‘Osmosis Jones’ from dreck

The summer movie doldrums are still with us. “Osmosis Jones” fails to

entertain or inform on any level.

Despite using the voices of reliably entertaining professionals such

as David Hyde Pierce, Ron Howard and Chris Rock, we’re not convinced.

The story revolves around a maverick white blood cell, Osmosis Jones

(Rock), who partners with a cold tablet (Drix, played by Pierce) in order

to stop a cold virus (Thrax, voiced by Lawrence Fishburne) from laying

their host, Frank (Bill Murray).

Murray is a sleazy goofball in his portrayal of a failed father figure

catering to his personal perverted needs. The sight of Murray vomiting on

his daughter’s elementary school teacher fits right into the garbled

mishmash.

The film’s pace is frenetic, even for adults. Children will not likely

understand the medical terms addressed with animated figures.

The children in the theater had little relief. There were moments of

colorful animation, but no continuity.

This is an exercise in futility.

“Osmosis Jones” is rated PG for bodily humor.

* ELAINE ENGLAND, 65, lives in Newport Beach and owns a gift-basket

business she operates out of her home.