Reel Critics

Vince Novack

I get worried every time I see a film advertised with the director’s

name preceding the title. This phenomenon is particularly distressing

when that director is John Carpenter, purveyor of such tripe as “Escape

From New York,” “Big Trouble in Little China,” and “Vampires.”

In one respect having his name so prominently displayed is appropriate

as Carpenter not only directed “Ghost of Mars,” he also co-wrote the

screenplay with Larry Sulkis and wrote the bad heavy metal music that

passes for the score. At least the viewer knows where to place the blame

for this pathetic effort.

The studio -- Screen Gems -- may have decided to associate the film so

strongly with Carpenter as there are no bankable stars in the cast.

Rapper Ice Cube gets top billing over co-star Natasha Henstridge and

gives a one-note performance consisting mostly of looking surly.

Anyone who has seen an episode of Star Trek knows this story. The cops

have to team up with the “bad” guys to fight the bloodthirsty zombies.

The leader of the possessed humans, Big Daddy Mars (I’m not kidding),

looks like Marilyn Manson on steroids and his minions appear to be extras

from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. The numerous action sequences are

reminiscent of a 1970s kung fu movie with irritating and repetitive heavy

metal accompaniment.

Even though the movie takes place 175 years in the future, the weapons

consist of pistols, shotguns, dynamite, swords, spears, and razor-sharp

Frisbees. All of the conveyances, which include trains, trucks, and even

a balloon, look hopelessly 20th century. The costumes, embarrassing

dialogue and bad facial hair seem dated already.

Ghost of Mars is a complete waste of everybody’s time. Everything in

the film has been done before, and in most cases, far better.

* VINCENT A. (VAN) NOVACK, 48, is the director of institutional

research at Cal State Long Beach.