COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES -- It’s raining men in Costa Mesa

Peter Buffa

It’s a manly city. Costa Mesa, that is. You may have heard that one of

the quirky results of the 2000 U.S. Census is that Costa Mesa not only

has an unusually high male population, but one of the highest in Southern

California.

How do they know these things? Easy. They check every bathroom in

town. Wherever there are rolls of toilet paper perched on the holder

instead of hanging from it -- males. It’s a dead giveaway.

It is odd though, is it not? Nationally, women outnumber men. With a

total United States population of 285,253,562 -- give or take a few

hundred thousand -- there are about 7 million more women than men.

How does one know these dazzling statistics? One either has to be

very, very smart or be able to find the Census Bureau Web site. I

obviously fall into the latter category.

In California, the state in which we live, there are 99.3 males for

every 100 females. That tells us two things. The gender gap is narrower

in California, and there are a lot of 70% males out there.

In Newport Beach, we find just 97.9 males for every 100 females. Costa

Mesa, virtually awash in testosterone, boasts an impressive 105 males for

every 100 females.

Arggh. Me Mesa. You Jane. Forget that “City of the Arts” nonsense.

From now on, the city seal reads: “You Got a Problem With That?” What

does it all mean? I have no idea. But I may have a way to settle it.

A tug-of-war. Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, lined up, on the sand.

“The Battle on the Beach.” The two Chambers of Commerce can run it. Make

it an annual event. In fact, make it a fund-raiser for the victims of

September 11.

Let’s see. There are 70,032 people in Newport Beach and 108,724 in

Costa Mesa. So in fairness, Costa Mesa needs to turn away 38,692 people.

That lean-back-and-pull position takes about 3 feet per tugger. That’s a

little more than 210,000 feet per city, divided by 5,280 feet per mile,

so 39.7 miles on each side. Hmm. Whatever.

There are much smarter people around here than me to figure it out.

But when it’s over, we have two things we didn’t have before: a

definitive answer to which city really is more manly, and a lot of old

people like me who have hurt themselves really, really bad. What do you

say, yes or no?

What about age, you ask? Funny you should mention that. Newport Beach

is not only the older of the two cities -- it’s the older city of the

two. The median age in Newport is 41.6 years old. It’s 32.0 in Costa

Mesa. Isn’t that special. I passed the median age in the city I live in

20 years ago. Now I feel better.

The percentage of people 65 and over in Newport Beach is twice what it

is in Costa Mesa -- 17.6% versus 8.4%. OK, OK, stop whining. We make

Costa Mesa drop another 10,000 people in the Battle on the Beach. We need

the room anyway.

Interestingly, the percentages of 18- to 24-year-olds in the two

cities are just the reverse -- 11.2% in Costa Mesa and 6.5% in Newport

Beach.

By the way, if minutiae is what you crave, the Census 2000 results are

the promised land. Here’s just a handful of the categories you can browse

for any county and most cities in the states: age, citizenship, language

spoken at home, ancestry, marital status, means of transportation to

work, occupation, educational attainment, etc., etc.

One area in Plumas County (I don’t know where it is either) had 130.3

males for every 100 females. Wow. Now that’s manly. We will never, ever

invite them to our tug-o’-war, I thought. I was much less worried when I

checked the population -- 152.

It would be interesting to have someone who knows what they’re doing,

unlike some columnists, crunch all these numbers and see how we compare

to each other, to the county, the state, the nation, the universe,

whatever. If we have to spend a zillion dollars in tax money every 10

years mailing forms, banging on doors, and stuffing super computers with

mountains of data, let’s at least do something with it.

By the way, do you know what the largest single annual mailing in the

United States is? Income tax forms? Nope. Eddie Bauer catalogs? Uh uh.

Time’s up. The Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes. That annoying,

large brown envelope with the big window that at my house says “P. Buffa,

You Won, Sort Of!” goes to more individual addresses than any mailing in

the country.

Where were we? Oh yeah, the census. Re-apportioning political

districts is fine, and I know we’re all desperately interested in that,

but let’s see how the rest of this stuff shakes out.

Every city does a summary of the major categories after a census, but

a good number cruncher could do some very interesting crunching with all

those numbers. Who are we? What do we do? Where did we come from? And how

do we compare to whoever was here in 1960, 1930 or 1890?

Why can’t you tickle yourself? If you’re buying a dozen eggs, can you

get in the nine-items-or-less line or not? Is any of this making sense? I

didn’t think so. So there you have it. If think we should the Battle on

the Beach is a go, give me a shout. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at PtrB4@aol.com.