NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Karen Wight

I have received an inordinate amount of phone calls this week. Not

personal calls, calls for the children or even solicitation calls. This

week’s hot topic on the phone lines has been turkey, but not of the

poultry variety.

Two years ago, I briefly mentioned our family tradition of making

cookie turkeys for the Thanksgiving dinner table and as neighborhood

gifts. I was even a little embarrassed to run the picture of these rather

unsophisticated creations, but they caught on, and considering the amount

of chatter it created, these turkeys have been added to many of your

dinner tables.

Because of popular demand by elementary school teachers, by parents

and grandparents of young children, and for those of us who just like an

excuse to eat something sweet, I reprise the Wight Family Gobblers.

To make these lovely creations, you don’t even need to turn on your

oven. A trip to the grocery store will do.

Buy a pack of Oreo cookies -- I think the Double Stuffs are easier to

twist in half without a casualty. However, if you do break a cookie half,

the rule is you have to eat it. So maybe you want to go with the original

variety.

You’ll need a can of chocolate frosting; this acts as cement for the

candy. If you’re planning a really big flock, get two cans.

Mosey down the aisle and grab a bag of chocolate-covered malt balls.

Whoppers will do the trick. Grab a bag of candy corn. You will use five

pieces of candy corn per bird, so don’t be skimpy, load up.

Last, you will need either peanut butter or butterscotch chips for the

heads. I’ll leave this difficult decision up to you, depending on family

preference -- we are a peanut butter family.

Quarantine yourself to a corner of the kitchen that you don’t mind

making an enormous mess in. Grab a few kids to help you, this way you can

maximize the chaos.

Twist the cookie apart so you have two whole halves (can you have two

whole halves?). Take one side of the cookie and place it cookie-side down

on the table. Use some chocolate frosting to cement the second cookie

half to the bottom of the first half, leaving room for the malt ball

body.

Put frosting on the “tail” cookie and affix five pieces of candy corn

on the cookie, pointy side down. Could you ask for better looking tail

feathers?

Now, place a malt ball in front of the tail feathers on the base of

the frosting-covered base cookie. Lastly, using a bit of frosting as

glue, add the chip to the top of the malt ball. Have you ever seen such a

fabulous creation in your life? Quick, easy and schmaltzy as heck, you’ll

need several dozen.

We have to make these very close to the big day, because they do get

gobbled up quickly. Spread the wealth around the neighborhood. Even

tofu-lovers can add them to the dinner table as decoration.

I wish you peace, health and happiness from my Wight House to yours.

Happy Thanksgiving.

* KAREN WIGHT is a columnist for the Independent’s sister paper The

Daily Pilot.