STEVE SMITH -- Family Time

One of the sales and marketing principles you learn early on is that

it is important to give people permission to buy your product or service.

That permission may take the form of the right price, a limited time in

which to conduct the transaction, a limited supply and so on.

Once you hit the right permission button, the sale is yours.

This year, Americans have been given even more permission to splurge.

This year, we are being told over and over again that if we are real

Americans, if we are true patriots who want to show terrorists what we’re

really made of, we’ll go out and shop ourselves silly.

Of course, that takes money and although that has never seemed to

bother Americans, already notorious for living off of money we have not

yet made and for shopping more than we save, this year the buying frenzy

seems to have a dark cloud overhead.

Shopping for kids is always fun. One night during the weeks before

Christmas, Cay and I will enlist the services of a baby-sitter and go out

to shop for our two children, now 9 and 11. That evening includes dinner,

and we always look forward to it, in part because although we do so much

together, it doesn’t often include any sort of shopping, save for monthly

trips to Costco.

Kids usually make it easy for their parents and give them permission

to buy for them because they’re beginning to realize just how much

difference a little cooperation and volunteerism can make before Dec. 25.

Those children who believe in Santa want to stay on his “nice” list and

don’t argue when asked to do something. Older kids suddenly volunteer for

things, having discovered years earlier the reason why they are forbidden

from entering the garage or going into mom’s or dad’s closets during

December.

Parents know it’s the Christmas shopping season when the conversation

goes something like this:

“Hi, Dad! Gee, you’re looking great today. Say, have you been working

out? Dad, I was wondering about something.”

Dad peers over the top of the newspaper and offers his best bewildered

look. “Yes, son, what is it?”

“Well, dad, I was just wondering if I could paint the house today.”

“Uh, no, son, that won’t be necessary. We just had it painted a month

ago, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Well, how about if I refinish the kitchen

cabinets?’

“Last summer.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Hey, Dad, you should see the new bike that my

friend Scott got. It’s called a Tomahawk GT, and it’s really cool. Well,

Dad, I’m going out to play. Bye.”

“Bye, son.”

Some kids are stuck with birthdays too close to Christmas. They get

shafted because they wind up with the “combination” gift assortment. It’s

not a bad collection of gifts, it’s just not enough for two holidays.

Some kids just miss the combination cutoff date. Born in late November

or very early in December, they sneak under the wire and gets gifts for

both holidays. These kids have work to do, however, because they can

never be sure that one year won’t become a combination year.

So almost every morning for the week leading up to their birthdays,

they can be heard commenting about how wonderful either or both of their

grandmothers are and placing phone calls to them “just to say ‘hello.”’

And at restaurants on the nights shortly before the birthday, they’ll

make sure that the server fully understands that their birthday is just

around the corner. Usually, the tactic is good for a chocolate sundae,

three cookies with whipped cream on top or some sort of frozen waffle

filled with ice cream and topped with chocolate syrup and nuts.

But the gift-giving works both ways. Each year, our kids are given a

large cardboard box into which they are supposed to put all of their

unwanted toys and books for donation to a local charity.

As I write this, they’ve had all morning to work on filling up their

boxes, a tradition we’ve had for a few years. One of the boxes is half

full, the other has just enough toys to cover the bottom.

But I know that by tonight both the boxes will be full, not because

the kids want to stay on the “nice” list or on our good side, but because

they know that they have so much and other kids -- kids who belong on the

nice list too -- do not. Filling up the boxes isn’t the equivalent of

painting the house or refinishing the cabinets, it’s just the right thing

to do.

But I must admit that it gives us permission to be particularly

generous this time of year.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer. Readers

may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (949) 642-6086.