THE MORAL OF THE STORY

Cindy Trane Christeson

‘Christmas is a gift from God that a man cannot keep until he gives it

to someone else.’

-- Dorothy Cameron Smith

“Crying isn’t easy for me,” a friend said. “But honestly, I’ve been

crying a lot lately.”

She then told me many sad events of her life, and I started crying. We

all know many people with life stories that make absolutely no sense.

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” she said, “just pray for me and be my

friend. We all have our share of pain and loss, that’s just part of life.

Fortunately it doesn’t always stay a bucket of hurts, and I know God is

here with me. I just needed to tell him I don’t like life right now, and

tell others that I’m sad. I’ve asked people to give me the gift of

freedom to be sad, and I’m giving them the gift of my honesty.”

“I’ve always tried to be the tough one and not admit any negative

feelings,” she continued. “But I’m not going to pretend anymore about

what I’m feeling.”

She and I talked some more.

“God sent you to me at a perfect time,” I told her. “I’m feeling sad

too. I just came from my great-uncle’s memorial service, and it triggered

many tears for me.”

I told her about the service and lunch reception afterward.

“Obviously there was sorrow, but it was also an unexpected blessing.

The people who came and shared their memories of Uncle Tom gave us gifts

of time and memories.”

I talked about our conversation later with my mother.

“It was great to learn new things and different facets about someone

we all loved,” my mom said. “Talking and grieving with others was

helpful. But it was also great to laugh together while sharing many

wonderful stories.”

Over the next few days, I talked to several people about different

types of gifts they are giving this year. One friend called excitedly and

said that what she feared to be a serious health problem turned out to be

minor.

“You have no idea how relieved I am,” she said. “This sure puts things

into perspective. Last month I was depressed because I thought the doctor

was about to give me terrible news, and I thought ahead to the holidays

and knew that money would still be tight. Thinking of buying Christmas

presents was overwhelming. Since I was just blessed with the incredible

gift of health, I’m going to give the gift of my time to pray

consistently for others. I’m going to make a list and pray daily.”

Another friend shared a recent gift of reconciliation with her father.

“I hadn’t seen him in 17 years,” she explained. “I decided to extend

mercy to him. I’ve been working hard to get more healthy emotionally, and

it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Many friends have shared that they’re having a hard time buying gifts,

that this year feels different in many ways and they would like to do

something from the heart. I have to agree.

Maybe we should ask for God’s help and guidance in giving gifts of

honesty, freedom, time, memories, prayer, forgiveness and love. After

all, those are some of God’s specialties.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at o7

cindy@onthegrow.comf7 or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.