Baldwin’s Babble -- Paul James Baldwin

I was out on the harbor the other day, going out to lunch at the Blue

Water Grill by boat, when once again a frequent occurrence approached me.

Every time this happens my attention focuses, my nerves jump and my pulse

races. No, it wasn’t Dennis Rodman racing down the harbor in his

powerboat. No, it wasn’t people learning to sail at the UC Irvine

facility on Lido channel. No, it wasn’t even one of the loud monster

charter boats. It was one of those darn Duffy electric boats!

I tell you, most people can’t even drive a car around here, much less

follow the rules of the road. Now we allow anyone who can afford the

price of admission onto this Disneyland water toy, and do you think they

know the basics about boating? No way. All they know is full forward and

reverse and where the ice bucket is. But this isn’t boating, my friends.

This is nothing more than amusement for the boating ignorant that puts

the safety and pleasure of real boaters and others, including Duffy

passengers, in danger.

Some of these people are too busy to even occasionally glance around

for other boats while they pour their champagne, talk loudly in a drunken

stupor and zigzag down the harbor while acting like they own the place.

Oh, and I really like when they try to go in front, instead of behind, a

sailboat passing their bow. Bow? Oops, I forgot, that’s a boating term.

What I meant was the “front” of their boat before they “drive” to

Woody’s and “park.” I have had Duffy’s cross my bow from the port side

while explaining they just need to “park.” Sometimes it seems I need to

use my flare gun and fire off a round across their bow just to get their

attention. I’ve had my docked Whaler rammed by a Duffy trying to “park.”

I’ve seen Duffy’s run at full speed even when 5 mph is not appropriate.

And I am sick and tired of it, knowing it will only get worse as time

goes on. As the regional population increases, there will just be more

bad boaters on the water. It is just a matter of time until a

high-profile injury or death projects this problem into the headlines and

we start to address the situation.

Can we get something like Greenlight for the harbor? Never mind that,

I have a better idea.

License all boat pilots just like we do automobile drivers. Some

proper training and knowledge of navigational rules and such are now

needed on our congested water ways.

Or maybe, the Orange County Sheriff’s Harbor Patrol can enforce

right-of-way rules. In the meantime, maybe we can get a strong Coast

Guard presence to scare them off.

* PAUL JAMES BALDWIN is a longtime Newport Beach resident whose

commentaries will appear occasionally.