Soul Food -- Michelle Marr
Michelle Marr
o7 “He who loves God must love his brother also.” 1 John 4:21 f7
Last week my husband, seven family members and I went to a concert at
the Coach House in San Clemente. When we arrived there was a CD titled
“Missing” placed at nearly every seat at every table.
At first glance we thought it was some sort of punk rock marketing
ploy.
The word “Missing” hung among clouds in a grunge-style typeface. Rows
of black and white, photo booth-like snapshots filled the cover like
posters on a garage wall.
When the opening act came on stage we learned otherwise. Singer and
songwriter, Jannel Rap told the story of her sister, Regina Bos, who was
reported missing on Oct. 16, 2000. Gina, as Bos was known, was last seen
leaving a pub in Lincoln, Neb. after playing an open mike there. Her car
was found in front of the pub the next morning. The trunk was open. Her
guitar, money and music were inside.
“Missing” is Rap’s way to bring public awareness to Gina and other
missing persons. It is her answer to the question without an answer.
When really, really bad things happen, the first thing people usually
ask is “Why?” It’s a question, Rap said, that never gets an answer.
After the federal building was bombed in Oklahoma City, I recall
seeing a televised broadcast of Billy Graham visiting the city. A family
member of one of bombing’s victims stood before Graham with her face
flooded with grief and anguish. She asked him, “Why did this happen?”
I remember being stunned by the honesty of Graham’s answer.
“I don’t know,” he said.
I imagined it took a great deal of courage for him to deliver those
three inadequate words that day.
When very bad things happen to people we love we desperately want
there to be a good reason. We want to know that our loss and the
suffering of our loved ones are not in vain.
When I told a friend about Rap and her missing sister she replied
without a pause, “There’s a reason for everything.”
“You mean there is a good reason that Gina disappeared,” I asked her.
This time there was a pause.
“Well, yeah,” she said.
What good is a bad reason?
If the truth is any good at all, a bad reason may be the truth. But in
bad times that’s probably not what we are looking for. Most likely we are
looking for purpose, for meaning, for some kind, any kind, of a happy
ending.
Last week I read a story about the father of a 16-year-old girl who
was brutally murdered last year in a Costa Mesa park. Her murderer is
still unknown and at large.
“Things happen for a reason,” her father said in the story, though he
is still trying to figure out what that reason is. He is haunted by
“should haves” and “could haves.” He hopes that his daughter’s death will
help others better understand the importance of appreciating their loved
ones.
This is a worthy message about something that is all too easy to
forget in our feverishly busy world. But it is hardly a good reason for a
young girl to be snatched from her family and her future while her
murderer lives free.
It’s important not to lose sight of the fact that bad things happen
for bad reasons. Human frailty -- a moment of poor judgment, a yielding
to temptation or human depravity are at the heart of life’s most heart
breaking events. It’s hard to find hope and comfort in the idea that evil
has its good reasons. God extends his comfort to us in another way. He
offers us hope through a promise: “In all things God works for good with
those who love him.” Romans 8:28
* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer and graphic designer from
Huntington Beach. She has been interested in religion and ethics for as
long as she can remember. She can be reached at o7
michele@soulfoodfiles.com.f7
All the latest on Orange County from Orange County.
Get our free TimesOC newsletter.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Daily Pilot.