Becoming best buddies
Deirdre Newman
Andy Howell is a gregarious teenager with an engaging smile that
lights up his face. Monica DeLadurantey is more reserved, exuding a quiet
confidence that belies her 16 years. They have known each other since the
eighth grade at Corona del Mar High School. They go dancing, watch movies
and eat lunch together.
But during the school day, they are in different classes -- Monica, a
sophomore, is in a mainstream classroom and Andy is in special education
classes. While their friendship evolved naturally, they have forged a
closer bond through their involvement with the Best Buddies program, an
international nonprofit organization that has recently established
chapters at Corona del Mar and Estancia high schools.
The program hopes to change the social paradigm of special education
students, who tend to depend on their parents as their primary social
outlet. It also encourages students from both groups to take risks and
chip away at the inevitable social barriers that exist in high schools
with diverse student populations.
“A lot of people stereotype other people here and it’s not fair,” said
Monica, president of the Corona del Mar chapter.
While the Best Buddies program just started at Estancia, it came to
the Corona del Mar campus in the fall through the dedicated efforts of
Suzy Thatcher, the school’s special education teacher.
“I had tried to do something informally, but this was the perfect
thing for our campus,” Thatcher said.
There has been so much interest in the program that Thatcher has had
to double up some buddies. Currently there are approximately 30 special
education students paired up with about 50 buddies.Andy, 18, has cerebral palsy, which was caused from abuse he suffered as a child, said his mom,
Donna. The right side of his body is paralyzed. He’s had several
surgeries during 12 years since Donna adopted him.Monica also knows what
it feels like to be different, to not be accepted by her peers, because
of her experience with a prior disability. When she was younger, people
thought she was deaf because she had delayed speech. She didn’t start
talking until she was 5.
“I know how it feels to be picked on,” she said.
Best Buddies usually encourages students to pair up by gender, but
Monica said she wanted to partner with Andy because of the special
relationship they have.
“I saw him in eighth grade and then started talking to him and when
guys would come up to me, he would push them away and say, ‘no,”’ Monica
reminisced.
The program suggests that the buddies talk on the phone once a week
and then engage in a more involved activity twice a month. Monica and
Andy talk on the phone more often.
“He gets on the phone and tries to call her all the time,” Donna said.
“I try to curtail it a little. She’s a really wonderful girl. She seems
to enjoy him and that means a lot to him and to me.”
And they usually see each other every day at school.
“He looks for me at break and sometimes during lunch we usually just
see each other and sometimes I’ll go to the classroom to surprise him,”
Monica said.
They have danced together at a Best Buddies bash -- “he couldn’t stop
dancing, I couldn’t keep up with him,” Monica said. They have seen movies
together. Andy dragged Monica to “Jimmy Neutron” -- “I already saw it,
but I wanted to see it again,” Andy said. And every so often, they meet
for lunch in Thatcher’s classroom.
Andy is an exception to the isolated pattern of special education
students at school, said Thatcher.
“He’s so well-known on campus,” Thatcher said. “When we have parties,
he invites everyone.”
But he does spend most of his time off-campus with his extended
family, which includes two other foster children and another child Donna
is a guardian for. Best Buddies provides more outlets for him to hang out
with friends, Donna said.
“For him to be able to go with someone who is a ‘normal’ person and be
out in the community with her and have that experience of doing things
with normal kids -- that’s really a godsend,” Donna said.
Thatcher said she has noticed a change in Monica as well through her
participation in the program.
“I’ve seen her becoming more assertive and confident. She was always
kind and caring. She’s taken incredible leadership and is a role model
for compassion and empathy,” Thatcher said.
-- Deirdre Newman covers education. She may be reached at (949)
574-4221 or by e-mail at o7 deirdre.newman@latimes.comf7 .
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