Parenting and playing

Deepa Bharath

The puppets seemed almost lifelike.

There were no strings attached to their tall bodies -- almost 3 feet

long. The puppeteers were moving the puppets’ hands and mouths to

simulate a dramatic dialogue.

The children could see that there were humans doing all the talking

and acting. Yet, they watched transfixed.

This puppet show revolved around the problem of bullying in school.

The central characters, Eddie and Melanie, talked about how to deal with

bullies and how to help out their friend who was struggling against

bullies.

Moral of the story: Anything can be achieved without violence. You

don’t solve problems with your fists.

That is exactly the message Parent Help U.S.A. is trying to get across

to parents and children with its shows, founder Sally Kanarek said.

The Newport Beach nonprofit group conducts parenting classes and gives

its clients access to counselors to help them be better parents, she

said.

“We try to explain to them that hands are not for hitting,” Kanarek

explained. “You don’t have to spank your kids to make them listen to

you.”

The “puppets for peace” idea works very well in educating children

about a variety of issues, such as drug abuse prevention, child abuse,

bullying and diversity, she said.

The group has the puppets on loan from the Newport-Mesa Assistance

League, and league members Barbara Maberry and Cindi DeBaun take time off

to do these puppet shows every Tuesday night.

Their technique of puppetry is what they call the “Japanese method.”

“What we have here are almost life-size puppets,” Maberry said. “The

children, in the beginning, are aware that we’re doing all the talking.

But within minutes, their focus shifts to the puppets and stays there.”

The show allows interaction between the puppets and the children.

“Kids ask them questions on the subject,” she said. “I once had this

little girl in the audience who totally opened up after the show and

talked to the puppet about how her dad abused her.”

That’s the beauty of puppets, said Janine, a regular visitor to Parent

Help U.S.A.’s center who asked that her last name not be mentioned

because of her history of domestic abuse.

Janine’s four children -- Joshua, 8, Caleb, 6, Joel 4, and Destiny, 2

-- love the puppet show, she said. It gives them something to do as Mom

spends time with her counselor.

It is both entertaining and educational for them, Janine said.

“They learn about tough issues the fun way,” she said. “It’s like

Barney, where they remember all the songs.”

Human beings can make children defensive, but puppets somehow seem

more trustworthy to kids, Janine said.

Janine said she herself suffered years of abuse from her husband and

did not want her children to grow up as violent or abusive individuals.

She and her husband were divorced more than a year ago, and Janine has

full custody of the children.

The center saw her through her divorce and helped her move from a time

when she and her children were hopping from one shelter to another to a

life of self-sufficiency.

“I come here more and more because I want my kids to be involved here

and get the message every now and then,” Janine said. “Abuse is a

generational thing. It gets passed from one generation to another.”

Her children, after they finished watching the puppet show about

bullying, said they would feel confident in the future about dealing with

bullies.

“I liked it when they talked about how you should tell a teacher when

someone is bullying you,” Caleb said. “I think next time when someone’s

hurting me, I’m going to tell a teacher.”

His big brother, Joshua, said he learned from the show that one cannot

solve problems with violence.

“By hitting someone or being violent, you’re only giving the other

person more attention,” he said. Bullying “happens in my school, and what

I always do is tell a teacher or an adult about it.”

The parenting classes, more than anything else, help parents

themselves figure out which way they want to go in dealing with their

kids, said Christy King, a mother of three.

“The puppet show is really neat for role playing,” she said. “You can

really see how kids’ eyes are glued to the puppets.”

King said she was surprised to see her 5-year-old daughter using

drawings to role play and express sad feelings.

“She drew a happy face on one friend, a sad face on herself. She was

trying a different way to communicate, which is great.”

King said puppets appeal to kids in a special way. They touch them in

a way adults don’t.

“Kids are kids,” she said. “You have to communicate with them in a

different way. And I was really impressed [with] how well the puppets

held their attention.”

-- Deepa Bharath covers public safety and courts. She may be reached

at (949) 574-4226 or by e-mail at o7 deepa.bharath@latimes.comf7 .

FYI

Parent Help U.S.A. is at 3848 Campus Drive, Suite 101 and 106, Newport

Beach. Information: (949)251-9274.