Parenting and playing
Deepa Bharath
The puppets seemed almost lifelike.
There were no strings attached to their tall bodies -- almost 3 feet
long. The puppeteers were moving the puppets’ hands and mouths to
simulate a dramatic dialogue.
The children could see that there were humans doing all the talking
and acting. Yet, they watched transfixed.
This puppet show revolved around the problem of bullying in school.
The central characters, Eddie and Melanie, talked about how to deal with
bullies and how to help out their friend who was struggling against
bullies.
Moral of the story: Anything can be achieved without violence. You
don’t solve problems with your fists.
That is exactly the message Parent Help U.S.A. is trying to get across
to parents and children with its shows, founder Sally Kanarek said.
The Newport Beach nonprofit group conducts parenting classes and gives
its clients access to counselors to help them be better parents, she
said.
“We try to explain to them that hands are not for hitting,” Kanarek
explained. “You don’t have to spank your kids to make them listen to
you.”
The “puppets for peace” idea works very well in educating children
about a variety of issues, such as drug abuse prevention, child abuse,
bullying and diversity, she said.
The group has the puppets on loan from the Newport-Mesa Assistance
League, and league members Barbara Maberry and Cindi DeBaun take time off
to do these puppet shows every Tuesday night.
Their technique of puppetry is what they call the “Japanese method.”
“What we have here are almost life-size puppets,” Maberry said. “The
children, in the beginning, are aware that we’re doing all the talking.
But within minutes, their focus shifts to the puppets and stays there.”
The show allows interaction between the puppets and the children.
“Kids ask them questions on the subject,” she said. “I once had this
little girl in the audience who totally opened up after the show and
talked to the puppet about how her dad abused her.”
That’s the beauty of puppets, said Janine, a regular visitor to Parent
Help U.S.A.’s center who asked that her last name not be mentioned
because of her history of domestic abuse.
Janine’s four children -- Joshua, 8, Caleb, 6, Joel 4, and Destiny, 2
-- love the puppet show, she said. It gives them something to do as Mom
spends time with her counselor.
It is both entertaining and educational for them, Janine said.
“They learn about tough issues the fun way,” she said. “It’s like
Barney, where they remember all the songs.”
Human beings can make children defensive, but puppets somehow seem
more trustworthy to kids, Janine said.
Janine said she herself suffered years of abuse from her husband and
did not want her children to grow up as violent or abusive individuals.
She and her husband were divorced more than a year ago, and Janine has
full custody of the children.
The center saw her through her divorce and helped her move from a time
when she and her children were hopping from one shelter to another to a
life of self-sufficiency.
“I come here more and more because I want my kids to be involved here
and get the message every now and then,” Janine said. “Abuse is a
generational thing. It gets passed from one generation to another.”
Her children, after they finished watching the puppet show about
bullying, said they would feel confident in the future about dealing with
bullies.
“I liked it when they talked about how you should tell a teacher when
someone is bullying you,” Caleb said. “I think next time when someone’s
hurting me, I’m going to tell a teacher.”
His big brother, Joshua, said he learned from the show that one cannot
solve problems with violence.
“By hitting someone or being violent, you’re only giving the other
person more attention,” he said. Bullying “happens in my school, and what
I always do is tell a teacher or an adult about it.”
The parenting classes, more than anything else, help parents
themselves figure out which way they want to go in dealing with their
kids, said Christy King, a mother of three.
“The puppet show is really neat for role playing,” she said. “You can
really see how kids’ eyes are glued to the puppets.”
King said she was surprised to see her 5-year-old daughter using
drawings to role play and express sad feelings.
“She drew a happy face on one friend, a sad face on herself. She was
trying a different way to communicate, which is great.”
King said puppets appeal to kids in a special way. They touch them in
a way adults don’t.
“Kids are kids,” she said. “You have to communicate with them in a
different way. And I was really impressed [with] how well the puppets
held their attention.”
-- Deepa Bharath covers public safety and courts. She may be reached
at (949) 574-4226 or by e-mail at o7 deepa.bharath@latimes.comf7 .
FYI
Parent Help U.S.A. is at 3848 Campus Drive, Suite 101 and 106, Newport
Beach. Information: (949)251-9274.
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