Family Time -- Steve Smith

The true story you are about to read is the type of reminder that we

all need all the time, not just at the start of soccer or baseball season

and not just because we are in a post-Sept. 11 reflection.

Bill Redding has been a fixture on the Costa Mesa National Little

League scene for as long as I can remember -- at least as long as I’ve

been coaching or managing, which is now six years. As the secretary of

the 2002 Little League board of directors, Bill plays a prominent role in

shaping the league’s character.

A week ago, Bill briefly addressed the assembled Little League

managers, perhaps 30 guys, and illustrated a point about the importance

of keeping a fresh perspective on Little League competition.

“Last year, I managed the Diamondbacks in the major division,” Redding

said. “We won the first half of the season, and the Marlins won the

second half. So we had a three-game playoff to determine the champion.

“We won the first game, but the Marlins won the second game. The day

we played the last game was also the last day of the season. That morning

at 7 a.m., I got a call from the father of my third baseman and power

hitter. He told me that his son, 12 years old, was sorry but he was

unable to play in the big game because last night he was struck by a car.

He broke both of his legs in two places and suffered a major concussion.

Then he told me that his son wished us well in the game.

“Suddenly,” Redding said, “the priority of the big game was not the

same.”

Now let’s follow that up with some revealing comments from Darrell

Burnett, PhD, on what is really important, especially to kids. It’s

called “Ten Things Kids Say They Don’t Want Their Parents to Do” --

guidelines we can apply to more than sports.

1. Don’t yell out instructions. During the game, I’m trying to

concentrate on what the coach says and what I’ve been practicing. It’s

easier for me to do my best if you save instructions and reminders for

the practice or just before the game.

2. Don’t put down the officials. This embarrasses me, and I sometimes

wonder whether the official is going to be tougher on me because my

parents yell.

3. Don’t yell at me in public. It will just make things worse because

I’ll be upset, embarrassed or worried that you’re going to yell at me the

next time I do something wrong.

4. Don’t yell at the coach. When you yell about who gets to play what

position, it just stirs things up and takes away from the fun.

5. Don’t put down my teammates. Don’t make put-down remarks about any

of my teammates who make mistakes. It takes away from our team spirit.

6. Don’t put down the other team. When you do this, you’re not giving

us a very good example of sportsmanship, so we get mixed messages about

being “good sports.”

7. Don’t lose your cool. I love to see you excited about the game, but

there’s no reason to get so upset that you lose your temper. It’s our

game, and all the attention is supposed to be on us.

8. Don’t lecture me about mistakes after the game. Those rides home in

the car after the game are not a good time for lectures about how I

messed up -- I already feel bad. We can talk later but please stay calm.

And don’t forget to mention the things I did well during the game.

9. Don’t forget how to laugh and have fun. Sometimes it’s hard for me

to relax and have fun during the game when I look over and see you so

tense and worried.

10. Don’t forget that it’s just a game. Odds are, I’m not going to

make a career out of playing sports. I know I may get upset if we lose,

but I also know that I’m usually feeling better after we go get a pizza.

I need to be reminded sometimes that it’s just a game.

Most of me wanted to leave you hanging about Bill’s game. Did the

Diamondbacks win or lose? Ah, who cares! After all, it’s not really

important anymore, is it? But I can’t do that and face myself in the

morning. Bill’s team lost the game because they had fewer runs, but the

lesson they won instead is priceless.

And the boy? “Doing great!” Bill said.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer. Readers

may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (949) 642-6086.