Comments & Curiosities -- Peter Buffa

Mocha. Java. Joe. Call it what you like. It’s all coffee. Could be

just me, but I think Costa Mesa might have a legitimate claim to being

called the coffee capitol of Newport-Mesa, if not Orange County, or maybe

even Southern California, alright already.

The caffeine tsunami in Costa Mesa is something I’ve pondered for

quite some time, but the soon-to-open “Costa Mesa Square” at the Target

Greatland on Harbor Boulevard has convinced me to go public with my

theory. As with all my theories, this one is based on little fact and

less research. If I get the numbers wrong, don’t bother calling me on it.

Just assume everything I’m telling you is suspect, as always.

But check this out. Costa Mesa Square will have a new Starbucks. By my

count, that makes five Starbucks in Costa Mesa: at Target, Mesa Verde

Center, Harbor Center, Metro Pointe and 17th Street and Newport

Boulevard.

By the way, Costa Mesa Square will also have an In-N-Out Burger and a

Krispy Kreme, for those of you who get light-headed when your cholesterol

gets dangerously low.

Diedrich’s Coffee? If you said “three,” you are not the weakest link:

17th Street, South Coast Plaza and Baker Street and Fairview Road.

That brings us to the “BFB,” or “Big Fancy Bookstore” category, where

coffee bars are a major league, hubba hubba big deal.

I submit to you Borders Books, at South Coast Plaza and across from

Triangle Square, and Barnes & Noble in Metro Pointe -- all certified

BFB’s and all fully caffeinated.

Are we done? No, we are not. That leaves the smaller chains, such as

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and Nata’le Coffee -- and no, I don’t know why the

apostrophe goes there -- and the independents, such as Totally Coffee,

Noon’s Coffee Bar and the Gypsy Den.

Finally, there are at least two drive-thru espresso stands in town,

with names I don’t remember, so sue me.

Altogether, that gives us the impressive, if not downright

breathtaking, total of 18 coffee houses, coffee bars, drive-thru,

whatever, in the Mesa Land. With a population of about 112,000 humans,

that makes for one coffee emporium for every 6,222.22 humans. Have you

ever seen a .22 human? It isn’t pretty.

Is that a record? I don’t know. I suppose I could find out, but that

sounds like work.

Of course, no city can compete with the 900-ounce latte of coffee

towns, which is tucked neatly between Puget Sound and Lake Washington.

Seattle has to be the coffee capitol of the solar system, if not the

galaxy. Have you been there? Not the galaxy. Seattle. The whole place

drips coffee. If you can’t see at least three coffee bars from where

you’re standing, you have left the city limits. And the espresso carts

are everywhere -- stores, banks, supermarkets, offices, churches,

cemeteries. It all started here, in 1971, when the first Starbucks opened

in the famed Pike Place Market, one of my favorite places in all the

world. It is no accident that the Pike Place sign sports a red neon cup

of steaming coffee.

In the same year, just a few stalls down, the company that would

become “Seattle’s Best Coffee” opened for business and the java craze was

officially under way.

Now, we are a nation awash in coffee, and what you pay for a small

latte today would have bought a nice lunch, with dessert, in 1971.

Being a sidewalk cafe fan, I had hoped that the coffee craze would

seep out onto our sidewalks, as in the great cities of Europe. But it was

not meant to be. Sure, you’ll see a few tables outside a Starbucks or a

Diedrich’s here and there, but it’s just not the same.

We are genetically indisposed to sitting at a small, round table for

an hour or more, nursing five-eighths of an inch of espresso and a small

biscuit. We want it big and we want it fast and we want it to go.

I’m as bad as anyone. Every so often, I’ll drag my latte outside,

determined to spend some quiet time watching the world go by. Before I

realize it, I’m holding an empty cup, tapping my fingers on the table and

checking my watch. Quiet time is over, all 4 1/2 minutes of it.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

Speaking of which, the other problem with sidewalk-sipping around here

is that you’re usually sitting next to a row of parked cars. It’s hard to

watch the world go by when you can’t see it. There’s something about

sitting a few feet from the grill of a Lincoln Navigator that’s making

hissing, clicking, cooling-down noises that sucks the romance right out

of the world-watching, coffee-sipping thing.

For a while, I was expecting the designer coffee craze to die out,

like the cigar craze. Remember that? But something tells me that isn’t

going to happen with the java jive. Let’s face it, we’re hooked on the

brown stuff, in Costa Mesa or anywhere else.

Oh, speaking of anywhere else, I will be in Utah for Week Two of the

Olympics. And not just to watch, I might add. Because of my shape and

weight, I have been asked to be a stone for the U.S. curling team. It’s

all very exciting. I can hardly talk about it.

And so, when you next hear from me, I will be reporting to you from

high above the Great Salt Lake, where men are men, women are women and

the water is really salty. Until then, I will do everything in my power

to uphold the Olympic motto: “Citius, altius, fortius,” which is Latin

for, umm, “cities, Altoids, forts.” I think. You always lose something in

the translation. But I’ll be back quicker than you can say “small nonfat

latte and a decaf mocha frappuccino.” Live your dream. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at o7 PtrB4@aol.comf7 .