Student Outlook -- Matt Meredith

As we enter a new era of civilization and begin to undergo the mass

quantification of life itself, everything must be represented in tidy

little numbers. The goal is no different in regard to public schooling,

and what better way to tally up the intelligence of students and teaching

abilities of instructors than good old standardized testing? Give all

students in a state the same test so you can gauge, compare and,

ultimately, judge their performances on a fair and equal basis. However,

in its simplicity lies its complexity.

The chief concern with standardized testing is, of course, apathy. So,

measures must be taken to ensure that teachers and students alike try

their hardest for such an immeasurably important event. Unfortunately,

laws have been created to avert negative reinforcement, so we’re left

with an incentive system. Methods such as funding, funding and funding

have been devised to keep the administrations in line. Money is

infinitely important to the schools. In fact, with just a couple million

more dollars, we could probably run the schools in the absence of

faculty. Only then would the pinnacle of human development be reached.

But what about the students? After all, we’re the ones who take the

tests. What’s in it for us? Absolutely nothing. Do you think we could

give a flying hoot whether our school gets an extra $10,000? It’s not like we see any of the money. We all know that million-dollar grants go

toward computers that cost more than small Japanese cars, as anonymous

Swiss bank accounts mysteriously grow larger and larger. So, we need

incentives. Creative, appealing incentives. Airline miles, lifetime

supplies of pudding, a spot on the “Real World” after graduation, tickets

to Britney Spears’ concerts, a job at Starbucks -- things that high

school students can relate to. But all of these cost valuable dollars.

Thus, the question remains: What has absolutely no practical purpose

or tangible meaning to students, yet interests them nonetheless? For

those of you who said independent thought, kudos.

After years of public schooling, it should be clear to students that

independent thought has no place in the “real” world, yet we are still

fascinated by its poetic beauty. Therefore, if the need for independent

thought was somehow implemented into these tests as a clever ploy,

dimwitted teens would be fooled into having some interest in the test.

The graders could, of course, instantly throw away the questions that

require thinking -- better yet, burn them, in case ideas were to spread

-- for the mere existence of those questions would accomplish the task.

Students would attack the tests with vigor and excitement, scores

would be high, and the government would award the districts with funding,

funding and perhaps funding. Life would be further quantified, and

therefore more meaningful. And if we’re lucky, we might get some funding

out of it.

* MATT MEREDITH is a Newport Harbor High School senior whose columns

will appear occasionally in the Community Forum section.