Comments & Curiosities -- Peter Buffa

Costa Mesa-by-the-sea. Hmm. Interesting. This week, the idea of

changing the city’s name came not from City Hall, but from a civic

association called Citizens for the Improvement of Costa Mesa.

My first reaction was, I must admit, not positive. To many people,

“by-the-sea” implies “on the water,” specifically seawater or, in the

shortened form, the ocean. That is why, I suspect, we don’t often see

names like Truckee-by-the-sea or Missoula-by-the-sea. See? No sea. That’s

a problem.

Ironically, from the bluffs on the far west side of Costa Mesa, you

can see the sea. I have said for years that the area has one of the most

dramatic views of the Pacific anywhere because of its elevation, and

should be a place of outrageously priced homes. But that is a story for

another day.

Human nature being what it is, if you make the claim that you are “by

the sea,” most people will expect you to be, well, by the sea. But, let’s

not be hasty. Surely, there is a “Somewhere-by-the-sea” that isn’t.

A quick search of “cities-by-the-sea” looked promising, with hundreds

of possibilities. There is Cardiff-by-the-sea, of course, just down the

coast. According to their Web site, Cardiff-by-the-sea, founded about

1911, is a “shoreline community” with a “moderate climate and two miles

of Pacific coastline.” Alright, fine, forget it. That’s two more miles of

Pacific coastline than us.

There is a place called Sidney-by-the-sea in Vancouver, B.C. “It has a

population of 11,000 and is located at the south tip of Vancouver Island,

with full service marinas within walking distance of the downtown core.”

No good. If you got marinas, you got boats. If you got boats, you got

water. Pass.

What about Culloden-by-the-sea -- a balmy Caribbean hideaway in

Jamaica with “white sand beach and pristine water?” Sounds lovely, but it

doesn’t matter how pristine your water is. It’s still water.

Jersey maybe. “Avon-by-the-sea, New Jersey, is a four season, seaside,

Victorian community where you can watch our drawbridges and a parade of

boats come and go. On the east is the mighty Atlantic Ocean where you can

enjoy the rolling surf, laughing gulls and gentle sea breezes.” Great.

The whole place is waterlogged. And what’s up with the “laughing gulls,”

if I may ask?

On to New England. Manchester-by-the-sea is in “Essex County on the

northeastern Massachusetts coast. It is bordered on the west by Beverly

and Wenham, on the northwest by Hamilton, on the north by Essex, on the

east by Gloucester, and on the south by the Atlantic Ocean.” Shoot. We

were so close. Just one more pseudo-English town to the south and the

whole place would have been land-locked.

What about the Northwest? We haven’t been there. Bandon-on-the-sea is

a small town “on the Southern Oregon coast, located just south of the

estuary formed by the Coquille River and the Pacific Ocean.” Great,

thanks, leave your number. Love your salmon.

Europe maybe. They have more cities than you can count.

Shoreham-by-the-sea sounds nice. “During the 15th century, a considerable

amount of the southern part of the town was washed away. Little is known

of the origins of Old Shoreham.” I have to be honest, folks, very little

is known about new Shoreham either. But the fact that a big chunk of your

south end was washed away tells me that you are not doing well in the

“Somewhere-by-the-Sea that isn’t” contest.

There are hundreds more, but you get the point. The “by-the-sea” thing

just doesn’t work if there’s no sea. It doesn’t take a lot -- a little,

tiny, itty-bitty sliver of beach or sand or whatever will do -- but there

has to be some sea somewhere.

Second problem. People don’t like long names and they won’t use long

names. They just won’t. Example. You know the upscale town where Clint

Eastwood lives that’s next door to Monterey and sounds like a candy? Of

course you do. Carmel.

But do you know what its real name is? It’s Carmel-by-the-sea. Do you

know anyone who calls it Carmel-by-the-sea? Do you know anyone who knows

anyone who calls it Carmel-by-the-sea? Do you know anyone who knows

anyone who knows anyone who calls it Carmel-by-the-sea?

Everyone on this planet calls it Carmel. Period. No “by-the-sea.” No

nothing. Just Carmel, as in “car” then “mel.” Why? Because people won’t

use long names, that’s why. Never have, never will.

Last and it could be least, who knows, there are people called

“marketing experts.” Marketing experts are deep thinkers who are paid to

think deep thoughts about marketing. One of the things marketing people

think about is something called “branding.” They think about it a lot.

Branding is not what makes a cow say, “Ow! What the heck was that?”

Branding is the process of making sure people remember you or your

product or your whatever. A brand can be a word, like Coke, or an image,

like the Mercedes Benz logo. Instantly, people know who you are and what

you’re about.

A lot of people have spent a lot of time and a lot of money branding

Costa Mesa as a world-class arts, entertainment and retail center. I know

some of those people really, really well by the way, and they feel

strongly that now is not the time to be tinkering with names, thank you.

I know Newport-envy is still an issue with some people, but we need to

get over that. Newport is on the water. Costa Mesa is not. Barring some

major developments, that isn’t going to change. Me? I’m as happy as a

clam. A laughing sea gull even. I gotta go

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at PtrB4@aol.com.