Soul Food

Michele Marr

“That’s what gripes me about a lot of Christians,” my friend summed up

the story she had been telling me.

She had worked with a colleague on a project. She finished her work

ahead of deadline and handed it off to him to do his part. He

procrastinated. He delivered the project to a vendor late. The vendor was

aggravated.

My friend’s colleague laid the blame on her instead of taking the hit

himself.

“Ah, she never manages to get me anything on time,” he told the

vendor.

The vendor repeated the complaint to my friend. She protested to me.

“The guy always makes a big deal about being a Christian. He expects

you to trust him more than other people -- because he’s a Christian. But

look how he behaves. He lied about me to cover his own butt. And it’s not

the first time.”

I know this woman well enough to know she’s not lying. I’ve never

known her to embellish the truth -- even a little -- to help make her

case.

Her complaint is not new to me. I hear it from many of my

non-Christian friends. Christians, they tell me, are arrogant,

hypocritical and incredibly judgmental. And they don’t judge themselves

and other Christians by the same standards.

Christians, I hear again and again, seem to think their shortcomings

are not only forgiven, but also excused. Christians, I’m told, think when

they do something wrong they deserve to be forgiven. While they condemn

others for similar or even lesser transgressions.

When some of my friends grouse about these things I can be sort of

sympathetic. Ragging on Christians is a hobby for some of them. Others

seem to think they might be off the hook for not being Christians on

judgment day -- should there be one -- if they find enough fault with

enough Christians before then.

But I’m always troubled when I hear an account of someone hurt by the

deceptions or condemnations of a fellow Christian. Much like doctors who

promise to “first do no harm,” Christians too are called to do no harm.

Jesus commended his disciples to be wise as serpents and as harmless as

doves.

He instructed them not to be judgmental.

“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not

consider the plank in your own eye?” he asked them. “Hypocrite! First

remove the plank from your own eye.”

At the beginning of Lent my parish was blessed with a visit from our

bishop. He spoke to us about the Scripture reading for the day, the

parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector.

The Pharisee went to the temple and prayed, “God I thank you that I am

not like other men -- extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this

tax collector.” While the tax collector prayed, “God be merciful unto me

a sinner!”

In the parable we are told that the tax collector was, in the eyes of

God, justified, unlike the Pharisee who thought so well of himself. The

punch line of the parable is, “Everyone who exalts himself will be abased

and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Bishop Joseph impressed on us that Christian ethics are the ethics of

confession and forgiveness. We are to confess our own sins. He reminded

us that when we sin we betray God, our selves and our community. We are

to forgive those who sin against us because God forgives us, and

forgiveness is stronger than hate.

“The ugliest behavior of a Christian is to judge,” Bishop Joseph told

us. “It disfigures the icon, the image, of God.”

He reminded us that to be a member of the Orthodox Church is a grave

and serious responsibility. Our job is to obey God and to behave toward

others the way we want others to behave toward us.

“Let everyone come to you without any fear,” he urged us. “Have a good

spirit toward everyone.”

It’s easier to say than it is to do. But, God knows.

* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer and graphic designer from

Huntington Beach. She has been interested in religion and ethics for as

long as she can remember. She can be reached at o7

michele@soulfoodfiles.com.f7