The Moral of the Story -- Cindy Trane Christeson

“In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the

right person.”

-- Wilbert Donald Gough

My husband, Jon, and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in

December. We spent the evening with special friends who gave us an

unforgettable gift, even more valuable than the traditional gift of

silver. They gave us the gift of their time, blessings and prayers for

our marriage.

We talked about the highs and lows we have traveled in the adventure

of marriage and how God has faithfully walked with us every step of the

way. These friends laughed and cried with us. They also affirmed the

qualities they appreciate in us and each one prayed a specific blessing

for us. These friends are committed not only to making their marriages

work but to helping make ours work as well. Jon and I were both honored

and humbled by their love and commitment to us.

The next month, we shared another amazing evening with other treasured

friends. It was New Year’s Eve, and our daughter Kelly and her fiance,

Ryan, had recently become engaged. We have the unique fortune that many

of their friends are the children of our friends, and the generations

gathered together. Guy, the host for the evening, wanted to toast the

young couple.

But more than that, he wanted a time to bless and encourage them. He

wanted them to know that they have a community of friends who will love

them and support their marriage.

Guy referred to an old book by Joyce Landorf called “Balcony People.”

In the book, the author refers to “basement people” as those who drain

and discourage us, and “balcony people” as people who love and encourage

us to do our best, as if they were practically hanging over the rail,

cheering for us.

Guy told Kelly and Ryan that they were in a room surrounded by

“balcony people.”

“From that balcony, we have watched you both grow up and have shared

your joys and pains and on many occasions we have called out words of

support, understanding and encouragement to you along the way,” Guy said.

“We are confident that God has great things in store for the two of you

in your life together.”

Other friends offered words of wisdom, blessings and prayers for them

and their marriage. I wish I had a tape recording of everything that was

said. Even if I did, it would be hard to describe the obvious love and

dedication that warmed that room and all our hearts that night.

It was an ideal start to the new year. It was also an ideal start to

an engagement with a reminder to grow in love for one another and for God

in a community of support. It was also a great reminder to do what we can

to strengthen marriages around us.

Whether you are married or not, every day can be a day to ask God to

help us be balcony people for others in our lives.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at o7

cindy@onthegrow.comf7 or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.